Beyond Obsessions
by GodIsBB
Summary: **UPDATED. A tale of dark obsession and twisted love. L finds himself in the grip of Beyond Birthday's rage, held prisoner in an abandoned hospital. "You'll end up buried by my side." Neither of the pair saw it coming. M/YAOI/DRUGABUSE/LANGUAGE/
1. Hiding

**A/N: **Hey everyone! I'm new to fanfic and this will be my first posted story. Let's get some stuff out of the way. This is rated M for a reason. This chapter may seem pretty soft, but things WILL heat up. I'm talking some major lemon here people! The time setting is during the Kira investigation, a bit vefore Light Yagami gives up his Deathnote. Please please please review! It will make me so happy! Positive AND negative reviews are welcome, I love 'em all. Thanks guys. I hope whoever reads this enjoys.

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"Ryuzaki?" a voice called out into the silence. "Are you in here Ryuzaki?" Ryuzaki, L, Lawliet, whatever one prefers to address him as, was not to be seen in the dark room. Oddly, his computer was still turned on, a document open on the luminous screen.

Watari, letting his curiosity get the better off him, slowly walked up to L's computer and took a quick look at the typed font on the screen.

_"Do not look for me. Do not halt the investigation of the Kira case due to my absence. I cannot release to you my whereabouts, but I will hopefully return in the near future. There is something I must attend to, and I will not tell you to not worry since I will be in the presence of potential danger. Watari, I have sent you a private e-mail with more information. There was only a 87 percent chance that you would be the individual to see this message, so please read what I have sent you.  
L."  
_  
Watari stared at the message for five minutes after he had already read it twice. One who knows Watari knows that when faced with a stressful situation, the old man will proceed to talk to himself.

"What, what, what, what, what?! L, L, where is L? What stupid thing have you gone off and done now? Oh how am I going to m handle this! Authorities? No, no, they would be of no help. Oh Watari you idiot! You big dumb idiot! You should have kept a better eye on him! Such a person needs constant supervision! Oh what have you done! What has HE done? Danger.. danger.. potential danger?! L in danger? DANGER?! Goodness gracious, what am I to do now?!" This jabber went on for quite some time.

Watari took a few deep breaths, still shaking. "Watari, get a hold of yourself. You need to be strong, you need to think this through. For L's sake, for his safety. Now L said he sent me an e-mail.." Watari signed into his account and found said e-mail, unopened.

_"Watari, it is L. I hope you have read the message I left in the investigation room. The only additional information I will disclose to you is that what I am doing involves Beyond Birthday, who is indeed alive. This must terrify you, but it is something I must do. As I said, keep on the Kira case, and keep a close eye on Light Yagami.  
L."_

Watari felt as if he had just had the wind knocked out of him. The concept of breathing escaped him. By the time he could breathe again, he was so out of breath he couldn't even talk to himself. Watari continued leaning over his desk, gasping for air, heart pounding in his chest.

"B-Beyond… B-Birthday? This cannot be, this simply cannot be! That sick bastard will surely kill him! Why is Beyond Birthday alive? He should be dead! Dead as a possum, he should be! Oh..." Watari had gone quiet, for something had finally dawned on him. There was nothing he could do. L was gone, and did not want to be found. If L did not want to be found, there was no way anyone could find him. The man is a genius. The old man realized the most he could do was hope and pray with all his heart L would make it home.

With this new self-acquired knowledge, Watari slowly walked over to his bed. He felt hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless. Under his covers, Watari began to cry. He did not wail and sob; he merely cried soft tears, which gently rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. He cried for the boy he had raised, the man that boy had become.

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"Room for one please."

What a strange looking young man, the employee of the small and ratty motel thought to himself. The man who went by the name Ross looked up at the man once again.

He was wearing baggy blue jeans and a white long sleeved shirt. His raven black hair was tousled this way and that, and rather long. He was pale; he looked as white as snow. The two things that surprised Ross most was the dark circles under his big dark eyes and the way he seemed to be hunching over.

"Is there something wrong?" prompted the odd young man. Ross looked into the man's eyes quickly, surprised. "Oh no, no sir. Nothing wrong. Sorry. Sure, one room? For how long?" Ross looked down at the floor as he spoke. "May I pay for two nights and pay extra if I choose to stay longer?" the black-haired man asked. "Oh… of course you may! Yes, that will be fine." Ross replied, a bit too cherry. "Oh and one more thing…" the peculiar man said. "Yes?" Ross was intrigued. "Where can I find some good sweets here" the raven said casually. "Sweets? Well I suppose the 7-11 across the street, they have some-"Ross was cut off. "Yes excellent!" the man interrupted, taking off rather quickly out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, Ross audibly gasped when he saw the same strange man coming back in the motel doors with three bags that were seemingly filled with nothing but junk food.

Even under the circumstances, L found himself smiling. Sweets always made him feel better, and this time was no exception. He dumped all his treasure on the motel bed. Twinkies, mini-cupcakes, brownies, icing, cookies, lots. Unwrapping a Twinkie, L began to think. He had left this morning; Watari should have seen the message by now.

L paused. He slowly stood and walked over to the small and dirty motel window. His heart began to pound, and he moved the tacky curtain out of the way to look outside.

It was a dark night, he could hardly see. This comforted him slightly. If he was out there watching him, at least L wouldn't have to see him himself. L spoke too soon. L saw a shadow moving in the darkness. His eyes widened and his heart beat even faster. When would this end? L knew he must be here, watching, waiting. L felt like a small mouse, right in the path of a playful and deadly cat.

Figuring he was relatively safe in the locked motel room, L climbed into the bed and ate his sweets. After quite some time, L began to feel tired. He lay back on his pillow and reluctantly turned off the light beside the lumpy bed. L was nervous, skittish even, but after one final glance around the room, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

L was in that room again. That room he had never seen before, but somehow felt so familiar. He looked around. The beige walls were dull and the grey carpet even duller. Not one piece of furniture had been placed in this room and L doubted much furniture would fit inside anyways. It was small, and had no doors or windows. L was trapped. He had no way escape, but strangely he felt at peace.

It was then that L noticed the other man in the corner of the room. L was a bit anxious to know who the man was but he still felt quite relaxed. On his hands and knees, he slowly crawled closer to the man, who had his head down and in his hands. Quiet sobs came from the figure.

L's heart wrenched for the man. Why was he crying? Why was he sad? He liked this man and he did not want him to be sad. "Hey..." L said quietly, "Are you okay?" The man's head shot up so fast L leapt back at the intensity in the man's eyes. Those big eyes, with even darker circles underneath. Those eyes looked so familiar to L. L's gaze travelled from the man's head to his feet.

He was a look-alike. A copy-cat. A replica. He looked just like L. The only differences L could identify were his shirt was black, not white, and his eyes… they were red. Blood red. L gasped and scrambled to his feet, attempting to get as far away from the man as he could. This was difficult, as the room was so small.

L knew this man's name. He hated this man's name. Beyond Birthday. L was trapped in a room with the one man he feared most. "N-no…" L stammered, "N-not you."

"Aw Lawliet, this hurts my feelings," Beyond said, tears still fresh in his eyes. "I was hoping you'd be happier to see me. I know I'm happy to see you…" with this, Beyond Birthday sprinted across the small room, looking very feline-like.

His face was mere inches from L's, who was cowering against the wall, eyes shut tight. "Is my little man scared?" Beyond inquired in a provocative voice. He lifted one finger to L's pursed lips. "Don't worry my little Lawli-chan, I won't bite, too hard." Beyond giggled, mostly to himself and leaned in even closer to L.

"Do not touch me!" L said, his voice shaking. "Oh why not? You must know that I cannot resist my favorite toy," Beyond replied, smirking. With speed, Beyond grabbed L's wrists and pressed him flat against the wall. Still grasping his wrists tightly, L was trapped furthermore. Beyond Birthday buried his face into the crook of L's neck and inhaled deeply. "Lawli-chan, you always smell so good, like candy," Beyond whispered.

L shivered as Beyond used his tongue to trace down his throat. "Oh I see, my Lawli-chan likes this, hm?" Beyond snickered. "N-no!" L denied. The red-eyed man merely laughed louder. L was not expecting what happened next so quickly. Beyond Birthday's lips made contact with his, and showed L no mercy. His lips were needy, hungry, and devoured any dignity L might have had left.

L tried his hardest to resist, keep his mouth stiff and closed, but Beyond was stronger, and being pinned against the wall did not help. Soon, Beyond's tongue had entered L's mouth.

The kiss given to L was not the kiss of a man who loved the other. The kiss was all obsession, it was filled with anger, revenge, and lust.

At this point, L was crying. The tears rolled down his pale face as he felt powerless. Beyond had pressed himself as close to L as possible and L could hardly breath.

"No. No. Stop. No. No! NOOO!" L sat upright in bed, breathing heavy. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his heart was going a mile a minute. Why am I dreaming these things? Am I a pervert? Having dreams about a murderer who is stalking me and will most likely kill me… what is wrong with me? All these questions were running through L's head.

L glanced over at his bedside table and nearly screamed when he say a cassette and small tape player sitting there. He was positive those items were not there the night before. He gingerly picked up the tape and almost dropped when he read who it was addressed to. "_For Lawli-chan"._

** A/N**: Oh my, poor L! I really liked writing this, it was fun. But why is L so scared we ask? And why isn't BB dead? All will be revealed my friends! Update really really soon! Let's just say L and Beyond have some history.


	2. Memories

**A/N: **Hey whoever reads this! It's Chapter Two! I liked writing this one even more than the first! It was really fun to be able to play around with L & B's past, since us fanfic writers don't get much to work with. I hope you enjoy! Please review! Reviews make me so so so happy! I love feedback! Thanks! =D

"A-am I still… d-reaming?" Lawliet whispered into the silent room. He looked all around him, but there was no sign of anyone else in the room besides himself. L went as far as to dig his nails into his forearm, and concluded after a sharp pain, he was indeed, not dreaming.

"How did he get in here?!" L was frustrated. The very man he despises was in the same room with L while he slept, and while L was having a nightmare about said man! With shaking hands, L inserted the tape into the cassette player and waited only a few moments before pressing Play.

"…….." At first there was only static. Then the whispery thin voice of Beyond Birthday himself could be heard. At this point, L was shaking so badly he had to lie down as the cassette played.

"Hello my little darling Lawli-chan…guess who? I think you know. Do you know how cute you are when you sleep? Maybe you should sleep more often, do something about those dark circles under your eyes. Oh but that would just take away from your cuteness. You even snore a little bit… very quietly though. I had to stop myself from climbing on top of you right then and there. Of course, you didn't make it any easier to resist. The entire time I watched you sleep, you kept saying my name. Over and over. Do you think about me that much Lawli-chan? _Beyond, stop. Oh Beyond, no. Please, no more. You can't kiss another man like this. You're a murderer, let me go!_ What kind of crazy fantasies were you having about me Lawli? Are you maybe remembering our golden days? When I wasn't as fucking crazy, but you were still just as cold. It seems as though you would love for me to kiss you. Soon my love, soon. I will hold you and never, ever let you go. Obsession is such a peculiar thing, is it not? Yes, one would assume I have an obsession over you, but really, do I maybe love you? Can obsession lead to love? If this is obsession, I want to have you in every way possible. Not only will I surpass you, but I will dominate over you. All of you will be mine, whether you want me or not. Do you understand precious? Doesn't this scare you? It should. I mean, you've left the comfort of your cozy home. You've left Watari, the only man who ever cared about you, excluding me. You are all on your own. Well, mostly. I'll always be there, I'll never leave you. I can bet that I'm watching you now, as you listen to this. Oh my little Lawli-chan, I must end this, I've been talking for quite a while. I will see you soon though…" the tape ended here.

L was still shaking, his heart pounding in his chest, not believing what he had just heard. He stayed lying down and tried to take some deep breaths. He needed to think clearly. Beyond Birthday was smart. L would bet that this was all just a tactic to confuse L. Love? Obsession is not love. Beyond was trying to mess with his head, and L was sure of that. Another thought then came to L's mind.

He had heard! L had been talking in his sleep and Beyond had heard everything about his dream! L blushed the deepest shade of red against his pale skin and could not believe this, did not want to believe this. What if Beyond Birthday took this as L having feelings for him? "I do not!" L said to no one particular. "But why then…" L was confused. He had dreamt of Beyond kissing him. His mind had conjured these images all by itself, his subconscious. What did this mean?

L stood and walked over to the window, which was locked. He peeked once again from behind the curtain, seeing nothing. Checking the door was locked, he climbed back into his bed but knew that sleep would not come to him. He opened another cupcake and didn't bother hiding the tears slowly running down his pale face.

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Beyond quietly chuckled to himself as he watched the raven-haired man in the baby monitor he held in his hand. This was just too easy. Unlocking his motel door with a lock pick, sneaking in without making a sound, and finally, sneaking the baby monitor behind a tacky picture on the nightstand, camera conveniently pointing to his target of interest.

Beyond could even hear everything that the young detective said aloud to himself. How happy the murderer was to see the man shake and cry. He was absolutely terrified. "Lawliet isn't the strongest, no, no, no, he is weak. Look at him cry. It is Beyond who is the strong one, the smart one. Beyond will win, Beyond cannot die. Will not die," the man was talking in third person.

L had been sitting up in his bed hardly moving for the past two hours and Beyond Birthday was bored. A smirk came over his pale face and with one swift motion; he banged his fist hard on the wall above his bed. He looked into the monitor to see L jump and look around the room. Once again, Beyond struck the wall above him and laughed quite loudly as L jumped out of his bed and wildly danced around the room.

"Kyhahahahahahahahahahaha! KYAHAHAHAH!" Beyond's laugh bounced off the walls of the small motel room. The motel room that just so happened to be right beside L's motel room.

L froze. "KYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" L recognized that manic laugh. Beyond… he was close and now L knew this. He was closer than L had expected. "Please…no more," L whispered. He buried himself under the covers of the bed, flinching each time the murderer struck the wall from another room.

The banging had stopped about half an hour later, and by this time the sun was just starting to rise outside L's window. L did not get out of bed. Instead, he let his mind drift and wander. Naturally, he was thinking about Beyond Birthday. There was a point in time when L had not known Beyond to be evil, just a misunderstood and lonely boy. He remembered the first time he had met Beyond. He could never forget that day, never forget how intriguing he found him. Watari had wanted L to visit the two boys who were in line to succeed him. L had no clue what he was really in for.

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_Before meeting Beyond Birthday, L had met A. The young detective thought A would make a good replacement. He was well-rounded and eager to learn. L was thinking of the possibility of himself needing a replacement in the near future when Watari interrupted his thoughts. "Now, Beyond is a little different from the rest of the boys here. You have to be careful what you say around him, L. He gets upset very easily." "Sure sure," L replied absentmindedly. L had no idea that Watari was under exaggerating._

Watari knocked on Beyond's door. A thin and whispery voice answered, "Leave me alone." L snuck a glance at Watari, to see his reaction. The old man looked back. "I'm afraid Beyond gets like this quite often. He never seems to be happy. In my heart I think he has the potential to do great good… but also great evil." Instead of knocking, L walked right in the door. Beyond was sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking down. He had black hair that stood this way and that, similar to L's, pale skin, and a skinny, tall frame. The boy held a jar of jam in between his legs and was licking the sticky substance of f his fingers."Are you fucking deaf, you old man," Beyond spat, keeping his head down. "Beyond, that is no way to talk to your elders – you should apologize," L said nonchalantly. B's head snapped up and looked at L. His eyes settled on his face, and then his gaze went up. The boy seemed to be staring at something over L's head. His eyes widened a bit then he looked L in the eyes, a small smile on his face. "Who are you?" he asked.

L was about to respond, but found himself unable to as he looked into the boy's eyes. He walked forward to where the boy was sitting and crouched in front of him. L continued looking into the boy's eyes. B looked uncomfortable. "What are you staring at?" B asked, but he already knew. "You're eyes… how strange," L said, distracted. Beyond blushed. He knew his eyes made him different from everyone else. He was reminded of this each and every day by the other children at Wammy's house. Freak, devil, Satan. The horrible things they called him. Beyond had cried himself to sleep most nights in this wretched house. With every name he was called, he felt colder and colder towards everyone around him. Beyond did not wish to see the name's and death dates of the people he met. At this point in his life, he saw his eyes as a curse, not a gift. Maybe if he had known that these eyes had been a gift especially for him from a bored Shinigami, willing to drop his eyes into the human world, he would be more appreciative of them. Later, he would learn to use his power to aide him in his acts of murder. But for now, they made his life unbearable. "Well stop it!" Beyond said angrily. "Are they contacts?" L continued to stare. "No… I was born with them. Now STOP staring at me!" Beyond jumped up and leaped across the room, away from L.

That same small smile budded on the boy's face. "Who are you?" he asked. L looked at him a moment longer, then said simply, "I am L." Beyond's smile grew even larger and L gave him a strange look. "Don't you mean L Lawliet?" Beyond asked. It looked as though the boy was about to explode into a fit of laughter. L, on the other hand, was speechless. He was so surprised and confused, it was a few moments before he could talk again. "How do you know my name?" L asked, eyes wide. "I can't tell you how, that's my little secret." L would let it slide, for now. "Well if you already knew, why did you ask?" L said. "I wanted to see you squirm…" Beyond said simply. L said nothing.

Beyond resumed his position on the floor, as did L. "You and A are in line to succeed me," L said. "I know," Beyond said. "If anything happens to me, A will take my place. If anything happens to A, you will take his place," L explained. "What?! Why A? Why can't I take your place first? A is no better than me!" Beyond was visibly upset. "Watari thinks A will be a more appropriate choice for the next in line and I respect his opinion. You are B. B for Backup," this was L's first mistake. "What…? Backup?" Beyond twitched. "Yes, if something happens to A, you are our backup. B for Backup," L thought he explained this well. "I am not some backup plan! I am a person, not just some replacement backup pawn!" Beyond's face had gotten red and his eyes flashed angrily. "Can't you be both? A person and a backup. No matter what you say, you are still the backup plan if A does not work out," L said, bored. "I will not be a backup…" Beyond whispered. His eyes were staring off into space, he had a dazed look in his eyes. L ignored this last comment.

"I must be leaving now," L said. "What? Why? You've only stayed ten minutes!" Beyond said. "I'll be back next week," was L's reply. Without letting Beyond respond, L stood and walked out the door.

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L was thinking. Backup. That had been what set Beyond off into his crazy ideas. What if L had only been a little more sensitive to B's feelings? Maybe if L had just shown him a little more respect… What if L had gone about things differently? Done things differently? Would Beyond still be the same person he was now? Would he be better or worse? These are things that L did not and will not ever know. L can only imagine how his role had played a part in the grand scheme of Beyond's life.

L's second meeting with Beyond was just as interesting as the first. This time L met B, he had a feeling it would be a long while before he would be able to think about anyone else but him.

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_Knock, knock, knock… There was no answer from the other side of the door. "Beyond?" L called. A loud bang could be heard from inside the room, and the sound of someone leaping towards the door. The door swung open then to reveal a smiling Beyond Birthday._

"L, hi!" Beyond was really happy. Was this the same boy L had met a week ago? "Um, hi," was all L could manage. B moved out of the doorway so L could step in. The young detective looked around the room. It looked the same as it had before. A small bed in one corner, a window with tacky green curtains, a large writing desk and laptop, a dresser, and jams of jar spread out all about the room. "You like jam," it was not a question. "I do…" Beyond said. "I like cake," L shared. "Okay." Beyond didn't know what to say. L crouched on the floor and Beyond followed suit. L looked at B. "Why are you crouching?" L asked. Beyond simply said, "Because you are." L said nothing else.

"How are your studies?" L asked, breaking the silence. "Good. In my opinion, I'm working much harder than A. I think this is all too much pressure for him…" Beyond said. This surprised L for Watari had just told him that A has been working extremely hard. L did not mention this to B, he was merely quiet.

Beyond took a deep breath and said what he had wanted to say since the first day he met L. "Have you ever been in love?" B was daring. "Uh…why are we talking about this? This is not why I have come here," L said, uncomfortable. "You haven't, have you? B pried. "That is none of your business," L said. "What happened to you?" B said. "What do you mean what happened to me?" L was confused. "What has made you the way you are?" B said. "B… I am a genius, yet I don't understand." L stated. "What has made you so cold? You… you love no one. I can tell, I can see. You have closed off yourself to everyone. You're just L the detective, you've lost L Lawliet. You can't feel anything…" Beyond reached out a hand as if to touch L, but at the last minute let his hand dropped. L stared at B, unable to speak. The boy he barely knew had just put all his emotions and feelings into words, which was something L was never able to do himself. "Who are you?" L whispered. Before Beyond could reply, L stood and left the room.

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I should have stayed, L thought. Maybe if he had stayed, he could have said something that would have helped Beyond, led him away from the path he chose. L would never forget those words Beyond spoke. Everything he said had been true. L never felt like a real person. He just felt like the letter L; a computer screen. He had no friends, no family. How did Beyond know all this? The boy was different, in so many ways. L felt inhuman. Beyond had been the only person L knew that could evoke emotion in him – whether it is confusion, fear, love… Love?! "What am I thinking?" L said to himself. Beyond was not the same person he once was. But maybe there was a little piece of him in there somewhere, hidden under darkness. A scrap of humanity. Maybe all Beyond needed was for someone to hold onto that little piece and never, ever, let go.

Thinking about all of his meetings with Beyond led L to think of the third one, the most confusing one.

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_"Watari? May I see Beyond?" L asked the aging man. "Yes, it might be best if you did. I will warn you though, he has had terrible mood swings since you left him the last time. Did something go wrong?" Watari asked. "Mm, probably just a misunderstanding." L answered. He was not willing to explain to Watari the complicated story of their meeting three weeks ago._

L decided to walk straight into Beyond's room, not bothering to knock. If B was upset with L, he would most likely lock the door and not let L in. Opening the door and stepping into the room, L was surprised to find Beyond Birthday face down on his bed, sobs coming from his figure, his shoulders heaving.

L almost walked right back out the door, but Beyond snapped his head up so violently L was surprised he didn't injure himself. B's teary red eyes widened slightly, but the boy said nothing. He resumed his facedown position on the bed. "Er, should I leave then…?" L asked. "NO!" Beyond practically screamed. "Are you okay…?" L felt as though he had to ask. "No…" Beyond replied, quieter this time. "Why not?" L didn't know what else to say. L took a seat, crouching, at the bottom of Beyond's bed and Beyond turned around and lay on his back and looked at L. "Do you…think I'm the Devil?" Beyond said, eyes wide. "Why would you ask something like that," L asked, head tilted. "That's what they call me. The other boys here. It's my eyes… they think I'm the devil. All because of my eyes! I never asked for these! It's not my fault!" Beyond cried out, fresh tears springing to his red eyes. Ah, so the boy is being bullied, L thought to himself. L was not used to this kind of thing. He chose his words wisely. "Hey, Beyond, don't worry. None of those other boys are in line to succeed me, are they? And in my opinion, your eyes are…unique," L said, hoping this would make B feel better. "Y-you do?" B asked, sniffling. "Well yeah, I've never met anyone with red eyes, besides you," L spoke truthfully. Beyond sat up in the bed and crouched just like L. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his eyes. He started at L. "Uh, B?" L asked.

Unexpectedly, Beyond leaped across the bed and pounced on L. "Beyond! Beyond! What are you doing?" L was utterly surprised. Beyond wrapped his arms around L's waist and embraced him in a close hug. "L, you don't know how happy you make me, do you?" Beyond asked, still hugging the young detective. "Uh…" L was not sure what to do. After debating inside his head, he placed a hand timidly on the boy's head and gave it a few pats. When B still did not let go, L gently pried his arms from his waist.

L felt strange. His stomach felt fluttery and his face felt warm. Was he coming down with a fever? "Oh L! You're blushing, aren't you?!" Beyond was laughing. "N-no! I think I might be sick," L said stupidly. So that's what it feels like to blush, L thought. The thought that he had never blushed before made him even redder. "No Lawliet, you're blushing!" Beyond insisted. To L's surprise, Beyond grabbed L's hand, pale skin against pale skin. "Haven't we made enough contact today, B?" L said, clearly uncomfortable. "L, will you be my friend?" B asked. "I don't have any friends," L said quietly. "Neither do I, doesn't that make it even better?" B asked, looking hopeful. "Maybe you should just focus on your studies…" L suggested, but did not move his hand. A hurt look danced across the boy's face, but disappeared quickly. He gave L a small smile. "I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go, not without me," Beyond said quietly. "What do you mean?" L asked. "I mean, Lawliet, you are mine. You belong to me and no one else, you will always belong to me," Beyond said, turning L's hand over in his, tracing the older man's palm with his pale fingers. L blushed again. Have I started some teenage boy crush? L thought to himself. I hope this doesn't interfere with his studies… If this is just some crush, why do I feel this way? I like him – not romantically, I think, but enjoy his company. And the things he is saying, I feel as if I should be afraid… Am I afraid? Has this turned into something more than just mentor and successor? All of these thoughts were running through the detective's head while Beyond caressed his hand.

"Beyond – I hope you don't… think of me in…" God why am I so bad at talking to people? L thought. I'm a genius yet I can't even make conversation, important conversation at that. No, set the boy straight. Save him future heartache. Heartache? We are two men, doesn't he realize this? Just say what you have to say, to be sure. "In a romantic way," L had said this really fast. "Romantic way?" Beyond said, tilting his head. "Of course I do," he said it so casually. "W-what? Why?" L's head hurt, this was too much. "I want to show you what it's like to love L. I want to open you up, open your heart. I'll do anything to show you what it's like to feel. If someone doesn't show you how to love or feel, you're going to lose yourself completely," Beyond had a look of longing in those red eyes.

L was speechless. Beyond stared only a moment longer. He leaned in close to L and kissed him quickly on the lips – just a peck. L said nothing. His eyes were wide and his mouth slightly hanging open. Beyond sat and measured his reaction. Seeing L had not starting cursing and screaming, Beyond once again made contact with L's lips. It was a soft kiss, one that demanded nothing in return. A kiss to merely show the person that the other was there.

Beyond's lips were soft. Why aren't I pushing him away? L thought. This is wrong, so wrong, yet I don't want him to stop. Just as this thought ran through L's mind, B pulled away. "I- I…" L stammered. "Shh, it's okay. You don't have to say anything, I know this is all new to you Lawliet," Beyond whispered. "Just don't run, never run. If you run, I'd just follow you." L looked at B, trying to find the words to say. Finally, he settled on, "Would you please do that again?" "Hm?" B looked surprised? "Kiss you?"

"Yes," L whispered, heart beating fast. Beyond Birthday smiled, he had caught his prey. Beyond pushed on L's shoulders and the detective fell backwards onto the bed. Beyond climbed on top of him. With that one ounce of compliance, Beyond was going to take this as far as he could.

Beyond started at L's jaw line, giving him soft kisses and slowly made his way down his neck. Inhaling deeply, he continued kissing L's pale throat. As L now knows, B has an aggressive side. What started off as a shower of gentle kisses turned into licks and frantic bites. His hands at L's hips, B sucked and bit on L's skin. Not hard enough to bleed, which B would have liked, but enough to feel a dominance B had always wanted to have over L.

L was extremely surprised at how much he enjoyed this foreign contact with one of his own successors. Even the biting gave him jolts of pleasure and pain that seemed to flow down into his legs. When B made his way back to L's lips, the detective was ready to kiss back. Beyond, nibbling on L's lower lip, felt L's lips move slightly and began to kiss him deeply. L's lips moved with Beyond's, trying to keep up with the movement. Soon, Beyond's tongue had entered L's mouth and the two kissed passionately. Neither one wanted it to end but they soon had to breathe. L looked into B's eyes. Beyond smiled and stroked L's hair. "How was that?" "Very nice," L replied, not knowing how else to respond.

Beyond's hands began to slowly move down to L's jeans. Two clumsy hands began to fumble with the jean's zippers. "Beyond… please, don't," L whispered. "Why not Lawli-chan?" Beyond pouted, which L found quite attractive. "I…I'm not ready…" L shut his eyes, trying not to remember the violent images that racked his brain at the thought of such intimate contact with someone. Beyond removed his hands and went back to stroking L's hair. "It's okay Lawli-chan, I won't make you. But I will be the only person you will ever have inside you, ever," Beyond said, a strange glint in his eye. He's very possessive, L thought. What does this mean? Does he love me? Or is he just jealous I'll find someone better? It's as if he owns me. "Beyond?" L said. "Yeah Lawli-chan?" Beyond replied. "Exactly why are you calling me Lawli-chan?" L said, not appreciating being called in such a feminine form. "Because I like it and I can call you whatever I like, Lawli-chan," Beyond said simply. "If you prefer I can call you Lawli, or maybe even Lawlipop?" B asked. L groaned.

At this moment, L knew something had awakened between Beyond and himself, something he was not sure could ever truly die.

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L cringed when he remembered his first kiss with Beyond. He had been so happy then. But Beyond was not the same person he was before. Or maybe he was, and L had just not noticed it or had not wanted to notice it. Perhaps Beyond had been a ticking time bomb, bound to go off at any second. Maybe the bullies at Wammy's House played a part in this as well. L would never truly discover exactly had made B the way he was. But he knew that he would soon come face to face with Beyond, and he did not know if he would live through that day.

Why did I leave Watari? L thought. Now I am all on my own, against a serial killer that hates me with a passion. If I had stayed, he might have hurt Watari… L thought deeply. Ever since L discovered Beyond Birthday was watching him, L had been a wreck. He couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't sleep, hardly talked to anyone… Beyond had left a note in L's bathroom, and L almost called in Watari. Second thoughts made L realize that B could be anywhere and might hurt Watari if L made a scene. Instead, L slipped quietly away, leaving an e-mail for Watari. Normally, L would have left a synthesized voice recording but could not risk this. If Beyond could see L, he would most likely be able to hear him too. So L wrote the e-mail with the screen covered and disappeared into the night. L did not know what he would do once he left, but it was better than staying locked in that building, risking the well-being of Watari, the only man who had ever remotely cared about him.

L was alone, and needed a plan. If he was going to outwit Beyond Birthday, he'd need to think. That is why L did not leave his bed once that day. By the end of the day, after L had thought, and thought, and thought, he had thought of nothing. He stared at the wall with an empty look on his face, realizing the doom of his situation. Maybe it was time L was replaced. Who was next in line to be L's successor? They might have their work cut out for them, L thought.

**A/N:** Oh this was way longer than the other one. Does it make sense why L has so many mixed emotions about BB now? I hope. More to be revealed soon! Definitely want to make this story nice and long, since it's my favourite pairing EVER. Review please! Review and I will give you a cookie! :D


	3. Violation

**A/N:** Here it is, chapter three. To anyone who is reading this story, sorry for the delay! Started a new school this year, been really caught up in things and have been pretty down lately. Sorry it's so short, I'll make up for it in the next chapter. Yes, I have introduced an Original Character, but no worries, it won't subtract from any Beyond/L action. I read a lot of BB/L fanfic and it's all the same to be honest. Especially the ones where they just start fucking like two sentences into the story. Where's the plot? Subplot? I know some people may not like my OC but she's merely there to aid the plot and make the story more unique. Thanks for reading and please review!

"I don't want to simply kill him. That would be too kind of me," said Beyond Birthday. He was sitting in a crouched position on the motel bed. He was gazing at the floor.

Her voice was quiet. It had a soft tone and Beyond had always liked the way it sounded. "What else is there to do but kill him?" she asked. "Of course in the end he'll be dead… but before that he needs not only feel physical pain, but emotional torment," Beyond's eyes were bright. The young girl turned her gaze from the window to BB's face. "Are you sure that is really what you want?" she asked. Beyond Birthday's eyes flashed with anger. He glared at her for a moment, and then his eyes went neutral. "Yes I'm sure. You really are a stupid girl, aren't you?" The girl tensed, "Fuck you." With that, she walked out of the motel room.

L awoke in the early morning, hungry and in need of a shower. He got out of bed and looked around the hotel room. Finding no surprise tapes or the such, he walked into the bathroom. He peeled his grimy clothes off his pale body and stepped into the hot stream of water.

A towel around his waist, he walked back into the bedroom. He had eaten all of the food he had previously bought and was desperately in need of some sweets. He was nervous about leaving the motel room, but knew he couldn't stay in there forever. Dressing quickly, L made his way out of the building. It was bright outside – a nice day. Stomach growling, L walked to 7-11.

Walking up and down the aisles, he picked out lots of sweets, hopefully lasting him awhile. L practically ran to the cupcake shelf but stopped when he saw someone standing there. Her back was towards him. L's eyes widened slightly and stared at the back of her figure.

Her hair was purple. Bright dyed purple. It was cut short and in elastics all around her head. They looked like sprouts, sticking up this way and that. L cleared his throat and the girl turned. She had a slender frame and face. Freckles splashed her nose and the high points of her cheeks. Her lips were small and pink. Her ordinary brown eyes were outdone by her makeup, painted black eyes with bright blue eye shadow.

Upon seeing L, her eyes widened and a hand lifted as if to touch him, but dropped down by her side. L, a shy being, looked down at the floor and shifted his weight from one foot to another. "You're a strange looking man," the girl said in a soft voice. L looked up at her, eyes darting from her hair to her eyes to her bright clothing. "That may be so, but you are a strange looking girl," L replied. The girl smiled, "Thank you." She looked down at his armful of sweets. "Hungry?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Starved, so if you'll please excuse me…" L grabbed a few packaged cupcakes and headed towards the cashier. L acted as though he did not notice when the purple haired girl stood next to him as he placed his items on the counter.

After paying, L walked out of the 7-11 with his sweets, not wanting to look behind him. He could hear her light footsteps. When he reached the motel, L finally turned. "Do you need something?" L asked. The girl cocked her head slightly, "What is your name?" "Ryuzaki," he replied, stepping into the building. In came the girl. "Are you not going to ask my name?" she asked. "Why would I want that kind of knowledge?" L said, getting bored. "My name is Auralee," the girl's voice was so quiet he almost missed what she said. "I doubt I will be seeing you again so it does not matter if I know your name or not. I am going to my room now so goodbye," L said. Auralee smiled, "It was very nice too meet you Ryuzaki and I hope I will see you again. You are quite interesting." To L's complete shock, she came close to the detective, stood on her tiptoes, and pecked him on the cheek. Auralee walked back out the motel, humming quietly to herself as she made her way down the street.

That was so strange, L thought to himself, back in his motel room. His hand went up to touch the place her lips had made contact with, and his stomach turned. L considered himself to have a slight condition of Haphephobia, the fear of being touched. The only person L could ever remember touching him was Beyond, and that was such a long time ago. L was careful to not make physical contact with those around him, which was not hard to do. When L thought of the strange girl kissing his cheek, he turned very red in the face, heart beating quickly. The young detective quickly made his way back to his motel room, eating sweets until his stomach hurt.

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As L stood in the lobby, Auralee circled the building a few times until he had gone back to his room. She made her way back to her hotel room and opened the door as quietly as she could. The room was dark, the only source of light coming from the small flickering television set. Her dark eyes swept across the room and did not see Beyond Birthday. Sighing, Auralee sank into the lumpy bed. Auralee had a sinking feeling in her stomach. The same feeling she got that single time she rode a rollercoaster. Her mother had taken her to an amusement park for a total of 1 hour and 34 minutes before she got fed up with the crowds of people and dropped Auralee off at a babysitter. Auralee inwardly shivered, pushing all memories of her mother to the back of her mind. That feeling still sat deep in her stomach. Auralee felt as though it was clawing its way through her insides, tearing up her entire being. Her head hurt and the girl closed her eyes. Auralee was an extremely emotional being. When something bothered her, it drained her physically as well as mentally. Her brain did not seem to be wired the same way as the rest of the ordinary. As Auralee sat with her eyes closed, she could not help but imagine some internal being tearing its way through her stomach and up her throat, using her flesh as leverage to escape. Auralee did not remember how long she had imagined this for. She dozed off. When she awoken, Beyond was sitting in a crouch on the floor, staring up at the television, eyes wide.

Auralee rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed. She noted that Beyond had been nice enough to put a cover over her while she slept. Hearing her movement behind him, Beyond turned his head. "Hello. Sleep well?" he asked. Auralee yawned before replying, "Yes. I met L today." Beyond was still for a moment and turned the volume down on the television. "And what did you think of him?" Beyond said. "I thought he was very much like you, and not just in appearance. It makes sense you were together with him. After meeting him I can't really see you with anyone else," Auralee prepared herself for Beyond's rage. To her surprise, his calm expression did not change. "Don't get too attached, doll. He won't last long." Beyond turned away before any more was said. Auralee could sense he was not in the mood for talking on the subject anymore so she merely sat down beside him on the floor, cross-legged. A commercial for extra whitening toothpaste flashed across the screen. "Whatcha watching?" Auralee asked. Without looking away, Beyond said, "News." The commercial ended and both Beyond and Auralee turned their attention to the figures on the screen. They heard stories about a young woman going missing, war in Iraq, and a story on how tap water is healthier than bottled water. "There's nothing on L," Auralee said, mostly to herself. "I didn't think there would be. Just making sure," Beyond still did not look away. "Why wouldn't there be? He's so well-known," Auralee said. "Think about it. Criminals fear L. If these criminals knew L had gone missing and was unable to work on cases, all hell would break loose. They would become a lot more invincible. Elaborate crimes would be blossoming all over the place," Beyond explained. Auralee understood now. "Yeah that makes sense. So as far as everyone else knows, L is fine." Beyond turned the television off, "Exactly." Auralee looked out the window, raindrops splattering across the windowpane. "I'm going for a walk. Come with me?" Auralee asked the serial killer. "You go ahead, I'm getting some sleep." Beyond was already settling into the bed. Beyond was more distant than usual tonight, Auralee could see it clearly. Auralee walked out the door.

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L looked out of his motel window. It was raining. Little droplets of water ran down the window pane, seeming to glisten in the moonlight. L had never particularly minded the rain, he sometimes even enjoyed it. L looked around his room and realized the four walls of the motel seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. Wearing nothing but his white shirt and jeans, he made his way into the night, the sky crying.

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Arms high in the air, Auralee had her head back, looking up into the dark sky. The moon was partially covered by clouds but a dim light still shone on the street. Hearing a door open, Auralee put her arms down and turned towards the door of the motel. At first Auralee thought it was Beyond coming outside to join her, but realized Beyond never wore a white shirt. Her eyes widened as she realized who had walked out into the pouring rain. L seemed to not have seen her, so she decided to approach him. She skipped until she was positioned in front of him. L's eyes widened and he took a few steps back. "Hi Ryuzaki," she seemed not to notice his surprised reaction to his presence.

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This strange girl again, L thought to himself. What was her name again? Annalee? No. Auralee. "Uh, hi," L scratched his leg with his bare foot. "Do you like the rain Ryuzaki?" Auralee asked, looking at him intently. "I don't mind it," L admitted. "I love it," Auralee said. And with that, Auralee began to twirl, palms uplifted, head thrown back, she was laughing. "Ah, yes, well I can see that," L said. "Surely you shouldn't be out alone at night, shouldn't you be indoors somewhere?" L asked. "No silly, I shouldn't," was all the information Auralee offered to give. "How old are you anyways? You look a bit young to be living on your own," L knew the girl couldn't be out of high school yet. "Physically, scientifically, I'm 16. I am wise beyond my years, Ryuzaki and I am not living alone, I just don't have the restrictions most teenagers do," Auralee's face was serious. "Oh. Okay," L did not know what to say.

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Looking at L was like looking into the face of Beyond. The traces of pain were identical. This was the first thing Auralee noticed, the splashes of pain in the eyes of the pair. Most times, Beyond covered this pain with anger and distance, but Auralee could still spot it. Looking at the young detective L, Auralee got that feeling in the pit of her stomach once again. She looked up into the man's eyes and could only imagine all the horrible things he was going to have to endure in the near future. Beyond's mind was set, and it wasn't changing. All too quickly, images of L's lifeless body lying on concrete sprung to Auralee's mind. Her head hurt and she shut her eyes, but still images of the man dead danced in her head. He was dead, he was bloody, and he was gone. There was Beyond Birthday, superior, standing over him. He had broken him, he had won. She knew this was all bound to happen. When she opened her eyes again, they were filled with pity. With one last look at the walking dead man, she ran in the direction of the motel and up to her room. L did not follow her. Beyond was still awake when she opened the door. "L is out there now," Auralee did not know why she said it. Did she want to see him suffer more than he already would? "Really? Do you think he's leaving?" Beyond was already on his feet. "I don't know," Auralee admitted, it was possible. Beyond sprang for the door and in one swift motion, it was open. He walked quickly down to the lobby and out into the rain. L stood where he had been standing minutes ago. "We'll follow him if he goes anywhere," Beyond whispered.

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L knew he had to walk to keep from losing his sanity. He needed to get off this damn street with the motel and 7-11. While he walked in no particular direction, he felt as though he was being followed. He wasn't sure if it was all in his mind or if Beyond could be lurking around any corner, or merely a couple feet behind him. Glancing over his shoulder often, he saw nothing. After walking for about thirty minutes, L came to a bar. There wasn't much in terms of buildings on this particular street, the bar seemed to be the only place people were currently in. Music seeped from under the doors and through the bricks. L had never been in a bar before, and found himself excited. Maybe that is what I need. To be around other people, in a group, L thought. He hoped that maybe the company of others would shield him from Beyond. Hunched over, he reached for the handle and pulled the door open. L looked around the room and immediately regretted his decision to come in. It was mostly men, with a few women here and there. The men were big and looked tough. All the people in the room turned to stare at L, who put his head down and walked to the bar counter. "Can I get you something?" the women behind the counter said. She was an ordinary looking woman, brunette hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. "Do bars serve coffee?" L asked, not sure of the answer. "If the customers ask for it we do. Is that what you want?" she asked. "Yes, thank you." After getting his cup, he paid the lady in change. That same woman looked at L in disgust when the detective proceeded to pour ten packets of sugar into his cup of coffee. Not liking the environment, L decided to take his drink outside, where he could think without the blare of the nasty music and stares of strangers. If only L had noticed one of these strangers follow him outside. L walked to the side of the building and leaned against the cool bricks. Taking small sips of his coffee, L felt more relaxed. L was just beginning to close his eyes when he heard a voice.

"Hey there pretty boy," the voice was deep and rough. L eyes darted around him and a man stepped out from behind the corner of the building. He was tall and definitely weighed a lot more than five L's put together. He was smirking and had a glint of excitement in his dull green eyes. "Um, hi," L said. He quickly stepped away from the wall and made a move to go back to the front of the building, only to run into the man's outstretched arm. "Where do you think you're going?" the man asked, his voice had raised an octave. "Back into the bar," L tried. "No I don't think that's going to work for me, to be honest," the man snarled. He quickly grabbed L's wrist, his coffee cup falling to the ground. "Good thing that cup was only plastic; we wouldn't want to make _too_ much noise. L's eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen. The detective began to scream only to be silenced by the large mans rough hand over his mouth. "Shut up you stupid piece of shit. Don't worry, it won't hurt too much, just relax and try to enjoy it," the man said, laughing. L tried biting on the man's hand but he did not seem to notice so L assumed he wasn't doing much damage. Kicking and flailing wasn't working because the man now had him in a pin against the wall. Keeping him pinned against the wall with one arm, the man began to unzip his jeans. Tears strolled down the detective's cheeks and he had altogether stopped breathing.

"Get your dirty fucking hands off him!" the voice boomed so loudly it seemed to bounce off the walls. Still pinned to the wall, L could make out a figure standing a few feet away from the man, one hand behind his back. L forced himself to look at his almost rapist's face and saw sheer panic in his eyes. The man slowly turned only his head to see who had spoken. The man's frame was thin, he was hunched over. The look of panic turned to amusement on the man's face. "Come here little buddy, I could take you both on," the man looked away and tugged at L's jeans. The man didn't have much time to do anything else, for the figure had come up behind him and put a switchblade against his throat. L audibly gasped when he got a look at the skinny man's face. It was Beyond Birthday. His eyes were shining red and angry, his hand shaking slightly. Beyond did not look at L, all his attention was focused on the redneck man's throat.

"You fucking bastard," Beyond snarled in his ear. "Hey buddy, come on. What, you gunna kill me now? Just let me go and you and your lover boy can leave," the man perhaps tried to sound confident, but his voice shook. "You're not going anywhere," Beyond growled. In one sweeping motion, Beyond drew the blade across the man's throat. L, no longer held by the man, screamed as the man's blood splattered over his face and shirt. L stared on in horror as the man staggered forward two steps and fell against L. Still screaming, L pushed the heavy man off him and watched as he fell to the floor. "Would you shut the fuck up?" Beyond hissed. All traces of common sense came rushing back into L's being. He realized he was standing with Beyond Birthday, behind a bar in the middle of nowhere, after he had just killed a man. As soon as L noted Beyond's hand reaching into his jean's pocket, he ran.

L didn't get very far; Beyond tackled him and had him on the ground in seconds. Screaming in hope of someone hearing him, L thrashed as hard as he could. Beyond was not as built as the other man, and had a hard time keeping L down. "Aura! Get your ass over here and help me!" Beyond shouted. L must have looked surprised when strange little Auralee sauntered from the corner of the building and held L's arms down while Beyond sat on his legs.

At this point, L was crying. Tears streamed down his cheeks and fell off his chin. When Beyond reached into his pocket again, L was sure he was pulling out a knife. Instead, he held in his hand a syringe. L felt a painful prick on the inside of his elbow and thirty seconds later, he stopped screaming. The tears stopped and L started to feel as though he was no longer in control of his body. He looked up into the star filled sky and the images seemed to swirl, the inky darkness looked like something physical. L tried to reach up and grab some but could not move his arm. Her face was smiling. L saw Auralee looking down on him, her arms on this shoulders. She did not smile in a victorious smile; it was a look of pity. Her eyes seemed to hold an apology. L wanted to tell her it was okay, he wanted to save them from Beyond. L's eyes felt heavy and as they began to close, he heard Beyond laughing.

Kyhahahahaha.

Darkness.

Nothing.


	4. Encounter

**A/N: Hey guys! I know I haven't updated in a REALLY long time, but come on, I'm here now! I've been so busy but I will be dedicated from now on. Leave me reviews please! They drive me to go on!**

"It's everything, it's invigorating."

Voices.

L drifted in and out of consciousness, keeping his eyes closed. When he did come around, he was careful not to open his eyes. He could feel and hear them all around him. At one point, L had tried to move one single finger, but could not do so. L knew he was drugged. He could only make out some of what his captors were saying and didn't feel altogether in his mind. His eyes felt heavy and he wanted to sleep but didn't want to miss what was being said.

"Like what?" a quiet voice says.  
"Oh I don't know Auralee, your questions are a bit personal, hm?" Beyond said. L noted that he sounded a bit irritated. "Yeah, I may ask personal questions Beyond, but you do weird things, which leads to the personal questions." her tone was joking. "Murder is not weird. It's human instinct," Beyond said. He continued, "We have derived from animals. Those who lived long before us were hunters. They killed what they needed so they could survive. A human's sense of flight or fight. Our bodies have been primed for either killing or escaping. I am not one to take flight, so I fight. With my body and my mind. Murder is not wrong. They only thing that has made it wrong is human weakness. Ethics and morals - a higher consciousness of the human mind has made it wrong," Beyond explained to the young girl.

L knew Beyond thought he was still asleep. He decided to keep it that way, wishing he could pretend forever. He continued listening to Beyond speak, feeling a bit dizzy and still very tired.

"What do you feel? When you kill?" Auralee whispered. "You can answer that yourself. How did it feel when you did it?" Beyond retaliated. "It's not the same," Auralee said, her voice sad. "No, I suppose it isn't. It feels…empowering. Watching someone stop breathing, witnessing the last breath they take. You can feel their arms and palms… releasing. I place my hands on their wrists, and I can feel it. You know when are gone. It's as if all their life is rushing out of them. Their veins, once pumping blood, fighting to stay alive, they quit. You can feel the slack and the calmness. You can read it in their face too. The sudden ease and eyes staring at nothing in particular. As you step back to clean up, you realize this was you. You held this insignificant life in your hands and you destroyed it," Beyond sounded intense and heated. As if a sudden urge had taken over his mind and he was to slaughter the first thing he set eyes on. He said, "it's a game and I always win." L''s heart was racing, he was afraid. Auralee spoke, "Beyond, that can't be healthy. It makes me wonder why you haven't killed me yet." Beyond chucked, "When you bore me with things like this I myself wonder why I haven't offed you yet either," his tone was kidding, but L wasn't so sure.

The two continued to talk but L could no longer make out any of what they were saying. Just a few of Beyond's words kept replaying in his head. _It's a game and I always win. _ L started to fall back into sleep, those same words ringing in his head. It was a game, and L knew Beyond would win.

_It's a game and I always win…_

__

When L was once again conscious, he opened his eyes, consequences be damned. It was bright in his room, light entering from a window nearby. L could hear absolutely nothing. He was scared. So scared in fact, he did not want to move or even take a deep breath. Time passed and still L heard nothing. Finally, he sat up in what he felt was a bed. A quick observation concluded that his ankles and wrists were bound. What did surprise him was what they used to keep him tied to the bed. Leather. There were also bars on the side of the bed. His eyes widened as he realized this was a hospital bed. Was he hurt? Had he been brought here by Beyond? Had someone found him and rescued him from the serial killer? No, L knew that was not possible. He could only imagine how hard Beyond had plotted and planned to make this work. Rescue would not be simple. Beyond was a genius, just as L was.

L looked around the room. It was a hospital room. He saw a curtain had been pulled over his area and that none of the machines were on. The walls were painted a dull yellow but plaster had been pulled out and it looked as though the walls had seen better days. In fact, it looks like the entire room was out of shape. Panels were missing from the ceiling, tiles were cracked and torn out from the floor, and the room had a musty smell to it, as if it had not been used in a long time.

Footsteps, quiet ones. L lay back down in the bed and squeezed his eyes shut tight, his heart racing. Someone entered his room and stopped beside his bed. L's face looked pained, a hint that the detective was awake.

"Hey sleepyhead, I know you're awake," said Beyond in a voice that was all too sweet, yet terribly bitter, all at the same time. "You're not scared, are you Lawliet?" Still, L did not open his eyes. "Oh come on now. I'm being nice, am I not? Would you rather I be cruel?" his voice was fake. It was as if he had to really work to sound like this, as if speaking this way was killing him. At that point, L made a choice. Something clicked in his mind as he realized how he must look from Beyond's dark eyes. He look scared, like a coward. Although L had good reason, he knew he was stronger than that. Beyond was a dangerous man, and L was just making himself more and more vulnerable.

With a new frame of mind, L opened his eyes, staring right into the face of Beyond. "Why hello there," Beyond snarled. "I swear Beyond. They'll find you! You fucking crazy bastard!" L was yelling, red in the face. Beyond stared at L for a moment, then laughed. It boomed, seeming to bounce off the walls. "KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Find me? No, I don't think so. Find you? Definitely not." Beyond looked smug. He leaned in to close to L, his mouth at the detective's ear. "I could never let you go, not now. You're here to stay, you're all mine," B whispered. L shivered, his instincts screaming to push the man off. He could not, he was still bound.

Beyond could see how uncomfortable L was. "Get away from me," L growled, he was shaking. "I could never stay away from you, L. Even if I tried. Obsession is defined by the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, or desire. You have, Lawliet, dominated all my thoughts, my feelings. It sure is persistent. The idea, of having you where I am, obsession. The image of you, in my head, obsession. Desire. I do, in a way, desire you and only you L. Obsession that you triggered long ago with your games and false affection," Beyond's face was intense, set into an expression that made L remember. He remembered the way Beyond would look at him, back when they were…together, in a way. L didn't know what to say because he was shocked that he was feeling something other than hate for Beyond. It was a cross between pity and guilt. Had L really been the cause of Beyond's ways? His monster-like personality? L looked away.

"That's all okay now, Lawli-pop. You're mine," he giggled and grabbed a hold of both sides of the detectives face. "You'll regret it. You'll pay for what you did to me. As well as obsession, my mind and heart harbours vengeance. Fierce vengeance," he snarled. His sharp nails dug into L's pale skin. B reached into his back pocket and extracted a pair of scissors. L's eyes widened. B proceeded to cut L's dirty white shirt in half and pull the remains off his body. "I hope you're not cold," Beyond snickered, no sincerity in his voice. Beyond dropped the scissors and exhaled sharply. L saw it coming. "Don't…don't touch me," he said, trying to sound fierce. "Why not L? I've touched you before," Beyond was smiling, he looked excited.

Quickly, and with grace, Beyond climbed atop of L and straddled his waist. L's face went red. "Get off me!" Beyond merely laughed. The killer leaned over and placed his face in the crook of L's neck. "Lawli you smell the same," he said. Leaning upwards again, he placed his hands on L's pale chest. "You are cold L," his hands ran over the detective's chest, soft caresses down his stomach and sides. He inhaled sharply and close his eyes, his hands still resting on L's chest. "You can't even begin to understand how long I've waited for this. For this exact moment. Where you are completely defenceless and exactly where I need you to be. I admit, I had my doubts. You are a hard person to get to. Some would call this fate, it was meant to happen," Beyond opened his yes. L grit his teeth, his eyes dark. "This is not fate, this is the outcome of a sick mind and careless mistakes." L's voice was flat. Beyond tilted his head to the side, his eyes wide. "A sick mind? My mind is not sick, it's simply…different. I can think above all the others. I see things you cannot even begin to imagine Lawli," his eyes were focused and heated. Beyond resumed his exploration of L's upper body. "I bet you're wondering what I'm going to do to you L," B said. L was silent.

B pouted, wanting reaction. "Don't go anywhere Lawli-pop!" B slid off of L and left the room. He returned only a minute later. L saw it, held delicately in B's hand. It gleamed, even with the light being dim. It was menacing. You look scared L," Beyond smiled. Lawliet could feel his body trembling, but wasn't sure if B could see. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to still himself. When his eyes had once again opened, they were calm. L knew it was an act, his noble silence, but was unsure if B did.

The killer climbed back onto L. He could hardly contain himself. B was practically bouncing. His eyes gleamed and his smile was huge. L's face remained still, gazing at nothing in particular. "Hey L, why don't I cut an inch for every time I lost my self control?" he leaned in close to L. Lawliet wasn't even sure exactly what this meant but knew B would make it painful. Slowly, he placed the side of the knife along L's pale throat. "Right here?" B's happiness and joy had turned quickly into intense concentration. His face was emotionless. "Or…" the knife moved down his chest, caressing L's body. L's breath was shallow. He began thinking of "mind over matter". It was the concept that one's mind was stronger than one's body. It was the theory, which had apparently been proven, that someone could put their hand in hot water and feel no pain, or walk on hot coals and not be burnt. As the knife continued to slowly trail over his body, L said to himself in his head, "this will not hurt" over and over again. But God knows that when Beyond did finally glide the blade of the knife from the bottom of L's neck to his bellybutton, his mind was no more stronger than the nerves of his body.


	5. Story Time

**A/N: **Here it is, Chapter 5. I will be updating often! Review please lovelies! (:

Beyond left L there, still bound to the bed. One cut, that's all L received at this point in time. L was surprised, thinking Beyond would torture him until he was barely alive. Maybe he would, just not yet. At first, L screamed as the blade made contact with his skin, thinking Beyond might kill him right at that moment. When B finished, the cut began to bleed. Not a whole lot of blood loss, but enough. It was a long gash, right from the end of his neck to his belly button. The red contrasted so boldly against his pale white skin. No tears came to the detective's eyes, as he had expected. After he screamed, he focused on the ceiling above, challenging B to do his worst. Before leaving, Beyond dipped his pale index finger into the blood of L's wound and slowly brought it to his lips. L momentarily looked at him, disgusted, but then returned his gaze to the ceiling.

Beyond quickly clambered off of L and left the depleted hospital room, closing the door behind him. L didn't know what to do. So he merely stared. He studied all the cracks in the ceiling. His eyes wandered the trails of each one, and time seemed to pass slowly. Soon he no longer noticed the pain of the cut.

L did not hear the door of the room open again. He did not realize someone had entered the room until Auralee was right beside his bed. "L?" she said timidly. Lawliet turned his head sharply towards her, his eyes ice. "You, deceptive little…" he did not feel comfortable insulting a woman with swear words. "I know you must be mad at me. I'm sorry," her voice was small, though she stared L right in the eyes. Lawliet's eyes went dull, emotion no longer readable on his face. "Whatever, I don't know you. I don't know why I would think you couldn't be something exceptionally evil and wicked. I mean, everyone has evil inside of them. You, by far. I shouldn't be offended, who are you to me?" L said, looking back up at the ceiling.

Auralee fumbled with a white plastic container in her hands, trying to get the lid open. "More drugs?" L asked, throwing an anxious glance in her direction. "What? No. I'm trying to help. I'll try to clean up BB's mess," she said. She got the container open and pulled out a bottle of antiseptic and bandages. "He'll just tear them off. Don't bother," L said. "I don't want it to get infected," she replied, rushing out of the room. She returned with a white towel, soaked in water. She timidly pressed the towel against L's parted flesh, careful not to be a painful amount of pressure on his wound. After cleaning up most of the blood, she pulled a napkin from seemingly out of nowhere and drenched it in antiseptic. Patting it over the wound, she concentrated solely on the cut. She finished by bandaging up the area.

"And do you normally try and fix the pain Beyond brings upon others?" L asked, completely serious. Auralee said, "Well no, because none are ever left alive after their first encounter with Beyond." L laughed, it was not a happy laugh, a sarcastic and deep laugh. "Well, aren't I just so fucking lucky?" Auralee bit her lip, "I want to make it better. I love Beyond but I don't want to see people hurt, for mistakes and hardships of the past," she looked so conflicted. "You want to help? Then unbound me and let me leave. Help me escape," L looked in her eyes, searching for anything that might be a hint of compliance. "No, I can't do that," she said, her eyes sad. L sighed, knowing it had been a long shot.

Maybe if L could gain the trust of Auralee. Maybe he could convince her to help him, if she felt more connected to him. L knew he had to play it nice for this to ever work, and even then it seemed highly unlikely. L glanced over at Auralee once again. Her crazy purple hair tied in short pigtails all around her head, her drastic eye makeup, now a turquoise green colour. She looked so young, yet so old and wise at the same time. Her eyes were what held her age. They looked as though she had seen more than most adults. She had seen pain, felt pain. It changed her entire face, her pretty eyes with tales of sorrow. __

"Uh.." began L awkwardly, "so you said that you love Beyond?" Auralee eyed him suspiciously. "Yes, I did." L just wanted to make conversation, maybe find out more about this odd arrangement the young girl and Beyond had. "What kind of love?" L asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She blushed, realizing L half assumed that her and Beyond were lovers. "Oh no, brotherly love, I suppose. I love him as a brother, we aren't…romantic or intimate in any way," she stammered on. L then said, "Who could ever love that man as a brother? And besides, Beyond would never let just anyone tag along and follow him like a stray dog. Why you?" L hadn't meant to sound harsh, it just came out that way.

"A stray dog?" she spat, anger taking over those wise eyes. "As if! Beyond wants me, he wouldn't be able to function without me. I do everything for him, I'm like his goddamn mother." L eyes widened, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you." Auralee sighed, "It's okay, I know how it looks. Me and Beyond have…history I suppose. He saved me, from a horrid place. Saved, by a serial killer. How ironic," she did not continue, merely began to play with an elastic on her wrist. "Tell me, everything," L urged. "It's no story worth telling," she looked defensive. "Please, Auralee, I just need to know," L tried to put a pleading look into his eyes, not sure if she would tell him anything. She finally looked up from where she had been continuously snapping the rubber band against her wrist. "Fine, whatever. What else do we both have to do anyways?" she attempted a comforting smile. She took a seat in an old chair beside L's hospital bed.

L could tell that she was a sweet girl that just got mixed up in the wrong things. Those "things" being Beyond Birthday. She wanted to help L, but didn't want to betray B. The detective thought maybe a little time would make her want to help him even more, enough to let him escape.

"My life was fucked up even before I met Beyond," she began. "My mom, well, she was blind. Not literally. She never saw anything that mattered. Maybe she genuinely didn't see, or maybe she deliberately ignored it, I don't know. I can't understand how she didn't pick up on the way my father looked at me. It wasn't right, not fatherly. He had lust in his eyes, not love. It was sick, she knew it was happening. She was too weak to stop it, or do anything to help me. She was scared, a coward," Auralee paused, looking at L to judge his reaction. Lawliet's eyes were calm. She continued, "He, my father, made me a woman when I was still only a child. One night Beyond came to me. My dad had been drinking, a lot. When he drank, he would get violent. I heard him screaming my name. Asking for his "sweet angel" He started to say that he knew I didn't love him. He said that if I didn't want _him, _then no one could have me. I tried hiding in my room, I tried to barricade my door. He was so angry," tears not yet fallen sparkled in her eyes and her lips trembled.

L didn't know what to say or how to comfort Auralee, so he remained silent and hoped she would continue. "As my dad tried to get into the room, I heard tapping at my window. I looked, and there was Beyond, a huge smile on his face. I didn't know this man, I had never seen him before, so naturally, I didn't let him in. It was only when he mouthed to me, _I can help, _that I opened the window to let in the stranger. I didn't have anything to lose. My dad would have killed me that night if Beyond hadn't saved me." L interrupted her, looking puzzled. "How do you know for sure?" he asked. "I won't tell you how I know that would have been my last night alive, but I know for sure," Auralee gave him a weak smile, making it clear she wouldn't answer any other questions on the subject.

"He stepped in, he smiled. He was holding a long butcher knife but I wasn't afraid. I figured I'd rather have my life taken by a stranger than my own father. But no, Beyond wasn't there to kill me. He wanted an ally, someone to help him do the things he couldn't. Someone to help him…find and capture you, L. He chose me, watched me for quite some time. He knew what was going on between my father and I. He saved me from hell on earth. He knew I would be impressionable and easy to convince in joining him. He moved everything from in front of my door and opened it, inviting my drunken mess of a father inside. He handed me the knife, I still remember each word he said. _Kill that monster, that horrible man. Stab him right in the chest, or better yet, slit his throat. I'm your only escape, this is your only hope," _Auralee imitated Beyond's raspy voice. L was wide-eyed, awaiting more of the tale. "Did you kill your father?" L asked, face shocked. "I didn't have much time to think. My father grabbed a hold of my shoulders while B waited in the shadows. He put his hands around my neck, calling me awful names while his grip tightened. I did stab him, I drove the knife right through his neck," she said, her head cast downwards. L assumed she was embarrassed, ashamed. She whispered, "It felt so good. Amazing, to see him stumbling forward, sputtering to his death…shock crossed his face for only a moment before he fell over.." her voice trailed off.

L did not know what to say. He found himself in situations like these quite often nowadays. He was usually so quick with a technical, emotionless response, but now, looking at the hurt on this girl's face, he was speechless. Auralee's face contorted into one of pain and anger, "Don't you judge me!" L look startled, "I-I'm not. I'm sorry, if you don't mind me saying, you just don't seem a person able to kill their own father. Even though it is understandable, considering what he did to you. It could be chalked up to self defence." L looked at her, hoping he had said the right thing. "Yes! It was self defence! So then I left with Beyond, I haven't left his side since. We understand each other, in strange ways." Auralee said. L mustered up a small smile, "I understand, don't worry." Of course L would agree that Auralee was in the right, he wanted to gain her trust. He'd be able to use her as a weapon later on, possibly.

An awkward silence passed where neither said another word. Finally, L said, "Your hair is quite strange." "You think so?" Auralee asked, twirling a piece of her bright bangs in between her fingers. "Uh, yes. I do. Why dye your hair such a colour?" he asked, genuinely curious. She gave him a small, sad smile. "My hair used to be blonde, naturally. It was long. My dad loved it. He would bath me and wash it for me, comb it and run his fingers through it. It chopped most of it off a week after his death. I guess it was some childish rebellion against him, but it's grown on me." L managed another weak smile, "It's nice."

Auralee got up from her seat and wordlessly left the room. She returned shortly carrying a glass of water and a peanut butter sandwich. "Won't Beyond be mad if he finds out you've fed me? He wants me to suffer," L said. He didn't want her to get in trouble. "Well don't tell him and he won't find out," she smiled and placed the cup to his lips. L drank the cool liquid and relished the feel of hydration. Auralee fed him pieces of the sandwich herself, for L's arms were still bound. "Ugh, I've never liked peanut butter. I could really go for some cake right now…" he said absentmindedly. "But thank you," he caught himself, not wanting to seem ungrateful.

Auralee's eyes went cold, "Don't think we are friends, please. I don't even know why I am helping you or why I told you all of that. I love Beyond, he is my only friend. He spared me death and I owe him my life. I would never do anything to sabotage his plans." L's brow furrowed, "Then perhaps you shouldn't do things for me that sends a different message." Her mouth pressed into a hard line, "Fine then, I won't." With that, she left the room.

_Such a temper she has. One minute she's telling me her life story and feeding me, then she turns cold. Well it's no wonder, she is Beyond's little pet,_ L thought.

L sighed, accepting he would probably be alone until tomorrow. He looked out the dusty window, it was almost nightfall. He also concluded he was on a floor high above ground, which meant he must be in a tall building.

_This must be some sort of abandoned hospital. I'm trapped, I have no options. I'm sure I'll die here. 80% sure, to be exact, _L thought. Not wanting to think about his more than likely inevitable death, L decided to try and sleep. Fall asleep he did, and rather quickly.

Beyond looked in on the sleeping detective. He walked stealthily over to his bed and observed that his wound had been tended to. Of course it had been Auralee. Beyond couldn't help but smile. Even though he trusted her completely, he knew she would try to make their guest as comfortable as possible.

Beyond wondered how the detective could look so comfortable sleeping under the circumstances. His face and body was completely relaxed and his lips even turned upwards slightly, the hint of a small smile. How could he feel so many different and conflicting emotions all at the same time when he looked at the detective? It didn't make sense. He felt anger. Anger that boiled red hot in his blood and made him want to slit L's throat on the spot. He felt jealousy, that L had become so successful, while B was believed dead and gone. He felt foolish, when he thought about how he once believed L would love him forever. The most confusing feeling Beyond had, was longing. He longed to have things back to the way they'd been so long ago. He wanted to be able to hold L without the man looking terrified or disgusted. When even one of these kinds of thoughts managed to creep into B's head, he quickly destroyed it. He pictured L leaving on that day so long ago.

"_You won't see me again, Beyond. Live your life and I will live mine. We would only complicate things for each other. Please B, just forget about me. I'm nothing of importance. Focus on your studies and take care of yourself,"_ _L said, his tone flat. Beyond's face was one of complete shock and horror. "WHAT? NO! No! You can't do this to me, L! You have no right, you can't make someone fall for you and then snatch it away from them!" L was confused. "Make you fall for me? I did no such thing," he said. "Of course you did! Who couldn't fall for you?" A dark look entered Beyond's eyes and a smirk appeared on his face. "L Lawliet, I've already told you. You are mine. You belong to me and no one else. You can't leave me." L spat, "I answer to no one. It was nice while it lasted. I'm afraid I am interfering with your life, and it can only lead to bad things," L paused for a moment. His tone softened, "You are such a puzzle. I think that if I were to give in to my desires to figure you out, I would abandon everything for you. You will destroy me," L said, his eyes sad. Beyond's eyes were death. "Do it, L. Leave me now. It won't be the end though. You are still mine. I will catch up to you one day. You've broken my heart in two. I'll be here to watch you fall." L's last response was, "I promise you I won't be back." As L walked out of Beyond's room, he heard sobs coming from inside. He fought every urge to turn back around, for the truth was, all L wanted was to hold the boy and never let him go. Although L did just that, he let him go._

**A/N: **Eh, I didn't really enjoy writing this chapter. Not enough Beyond. I don't want my Auralee character to be a flop. Let me know what you of her in the review section please. ALSO: Auralee and L will not be romantic or intimate in ANY WAY in this fic. Do not be mistaken.


	6. Secret

_**A/N: Hey guys, Chapter 6 here. Please review, I mean it's really nice to know if people like my work or not. Lots of people fav the story, but review also please! :D So yeah, some secrets revealed, having fun with this story. **_

"Beyond! Auralee!" L yelled out into the darkness. He angrily exhaled when no one answered him. "Goddamn it I need to use the washroom!" he bellowed. Listening closely, L heard a groan from outside his door. A groggy eyed Beyond leaned against the doorway of the room. He yawned and scratched his head. "Yes I suppose I should allow you to use the washroom, for I don't need that sort of mess to clean up." Beyond walked over to his bedside and unbound L.

L's head spun when he sat up and he tentatively rubbed his wrists. He stood up regardless of the dizzy feeling and lost his balance. He tumbled to the floor, landing on his back. Beyond giggled. "Silly L." B held out his hand for the detective to grab. Ignoring this, L got up himself and shot a glare in Beyond's direction. "Oh don't look at me like that," B pouted. "I need to use the facilities," L said.

Quickly, Beyond snatched L's head in his. L tried to pull away but B maintained a firm grip. "Oh stop it Lawli. I wouldn't want you trying anything is all. I can't let you get away from me." Beyond led him out of the dark room into a dim hallway. L's prediction of being in an abandoned hospital were confirmed. It was a long hallway, with doors on each side stretching quite far down. Most doors were closed, except the one right across from L's room. It looked just like L's room. "That's where I sleep, L. So I can always keep an eye on you," B winked. L ignored him, he had already figured he would be sleeping somewhere close.

The pair came to a locked door. Beyond swiftly opened it and let go of L's hand, pushing him into the room. "Be quick," he demanded. L was quick, for as soon as he entered the bathroom he realized nothing here would be of use to him. The room consisted of only a toliet and sink, there was not even a window. Every bone aching, L came out of the room and began walking ahead of Beyond, back to his room. "Hey! Wait up!" Beyond sprang at L and grabbed his hand again. "Why don't you wanna hold my hand, L?" Beyond asked. L did not know if he was serious or not. He stopped in the middle of the hallway. Clenching his hands into fists, he hissed, "I don't want anything to do with you. I don't want you to touch me or look at me." Beyond giggled, "That's a little hard to avoid L, I mean, you are my prisoner."

There was no reasoning with Beyond, no talking. His mind was set. L was the evil one. L couldn't talk his way out of anything. L had always been so composed, so technical. Beyond was the only one in the world who could make his words jumbled and his voice thick with emotion. Even now.

Sighing, L walked back to the hospital room and crouched in his usual stance on the bed. Beyond cocked his head, "You still sit like that, huh?" L nodded his head, looking at the floor and biting his thumb. "You still act like that too, hm?" Beyond said, his tone turned nasty. "Like what, B?" L asked. "Like a fucking robot," Beyond snarled. L did not retaliate, he simply said, "I try." One may think that L Lawliet had not said anything that would offend or provoke Beyond, but they would be wrong. Beyond's temper could turn quicker than anything. L did not insult or mock Beyond, but his response was not what Beyond had been hoping for. Like a young child's would, Beyond's temper turned red hot.

"I swear you're only half human. You're half human, half machine," Beyond growled. "Leave me now Beyond, I don't want to talk," L said, voice flat. "Do you even have any idea, L? An idea at all?" B snarled, his hands clenching into fists than releasing, than back into fists. L looked up at B then. He looked like a complete and utter madman. His eyes shone a deep red colour, while the rest of his face was pale as snow. The dark circles under his eyes made his face look as one of death. He bit his lip so hard it began to bleed. Catching the minimal amount of blood with his tongue, his appearance became even more frightening as the red smeared his white and straight teeth. "Beyond I think you should calm down," L said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. So this is what Beyond's victims see just before they die? Beyond's face, twisted into such an expression of hate and evil.

Beyond's eyes seemed to bug out of his head at L's suggestion to remain calm. Letting out an aggravated scream, he ploughed his fist as hard as he could into the closet wall.

L's eyes went wide as Beyond bellowed, "Do you understand? What you had done to me? You let me in, _briefly_. I wanted nothing more than to taste you, touch you, breathe you in. I just wanted to hold you. I thought it was what you wanted too." Beyond paused here, inhaling deeply, then exhaling, as if trying to clear his head and choose what he wanted to say carefully. "Something real. Everything in your life is fake. Your name, your identity, you're morals. what reason do you have to live except to put the bad men behind bars, or under the death sentence? I don't know if you know this Lawli, but even bad men love their mothers. There is no difference between my murder, and your murder. At least with me they see it coming. I'm waiting behind their front door, my face is the last they see. They know they aren't going to make it out alive. You do it all for fun, don't you L?" Beyond was red in the face and breathing heavy. His hands were balled into fists. He looked at up at L again. L remained silent, astonished that Beyond was sharing any of his feelings with him.

Beyond's mouth turned upwards in a horrible, frightening smirk, "When you left me, and never came back... I did something awful. My first awful thing. It was you, L. You brought it all on. A's death? You're involved in more ways than you can imagine. You think he killed himself because of the stress you and Watari put on him? No, no, no. When you stopped visiting me, when you stopped allowing me to contact you... that's when things got bad. I was confused. You fucking idiot! YOU made me this way. You and only you. I saw you, leaving A's room. You would talk to him, encourage him, but not me, not after you felt something other than indifference for someone, it scared you, didn't it? I screamed and ran after you. Do you remember?" Beyond clenched his teeth and looked at L, wating for a response. L had been listening in shock to B's breakdown, too terrified to stop him or ask questions. "Yes. I remember," L looked down.

_He did remember. It was awful. It was 2 weeks after he had shut Beyond out of his life. He had gone to A's room to see how his studies were progressing, on the request of Watari. Leaving the room and tiptoeing as quietly as he could, L thought he was going to make it out without incident. Wrong. Beyond emerged from his room just seconds after L left A's. He stared, for a good 5 seconds before fury crossed his face. "Watari! Watari!" L yelled. The old man appeared quickly, just as Beyond made a running sprint towards L. "You fucking bastard, piece of shit! Where are you? Where have you gone?" Watari met B halfway, and caught him in a solid grip. "Go, L," said Watari. L stood stone still. "Yes, L! Run! Run again! Away from anything that might actually provoke a feeling in that stone cold fucking heart of yours!" tears streamed down the boy's face. With that, L quickly walked down the hall and out the door. Only once he was in the safety and privacy of his own headquarters did he allow himself to cry. ___

_"_I just hope you know the consequences of your actions that day. Like I said, you murdered A," Beyond smiled in that awful way again. "What are you talking about Beyond? I did not harm A!" L defended himself. Beyond kept on smiling. "Oh but you did. See, when you left me that day, after visiting A, I had the most brilliant plan. I did not see A worthy of succeeding you. I also did not find him worthy of even being in your company. I should have been the _only._ It was then my mind transformed. I went from being a naïve, scared, boy to a killer. All because of you. What does everyone believe? That A committed suicide due to the stress of becoming L's next successor. Even if that had been the truth, I guess you still would have been responsible." L interrupted Beyond, "B! I saw his body, he had hung himself! Stop telling lies." Beyond cackled loudly. "No, no L. That's not what happened. A would have made an excellent successor, I'm sure. I couldn't allow it though. I snuck into A's room and brought along with me a knife I stole from the orphan's kitchen. It was so easy, I got the rope from the supply closet down the hall. I gave A the choice, ultimately. I told him that he could either get up on the chair and jump or I'd twist my knife into his stomach. He finally did jump, and L, oh it felt so good. I had such complete utter control and I played God for a moment. I told A it was all your fault," Beyond looked up at L, craving reaction. L's stomach had dropped and now he felt as though he was going to puke. That bright, young child, murdered by Beyond. It dawned on L that his actions and decisions pushed Beyond to his first murder, he triggered something inside of Beyond that sent him on a horrific and bloody rampage.

"You murdered A," L whispered. "Because you were jealous, because I stopped coming to see you.." his voice was weak. Beyond gave a small smile, "Yes. Exactly." L looked up at Beyond, the boy who he once thought was everything he needed and wanted. That was so long ago. L had been the cause of every bad thing L did. He killed A because L stopped visiting, stopped caring, in B's eyes. He committed the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases because he felt like he needed to surpass L and prove he was superior. L choked on a sob in his throat, threatening to release the tears that pooled in his large dark eyes. "I turned you into a monster," L whispered. Beyond snorted. "Huh Lawli I never thought that you would see it my way." Lawliet put his head in his hands and groaned. He felt pity for Beyond. He had a part in making this extremely impressionable man what he was today. BB leaned on the floor in front of L and said, "He would have just gotten in the way." L looked up then. "In the way of what?" Beyond grimaced, "I don't know, everything! Things had to go the way they did so we could end up here, like this." "But this is the absolute worst way for things to be. I'm going to end up dead, you're going to be the same. Even when I'm gone and you've put me under ground, you won't feel any better, you won't feel relief. This makes me wonder why I did everything that I had. My life is meaningless. You were right Beyond, what you said so many years ago, when things were good. I'm just a letter. It's such a tragedy, a life without reason or purpose, only to condemn the treacherous."

Beyond furrowed his brow. Why was L opening up to him like this? Especially after just telling him that he had murdered his first successor? It was the first time in so long that Beyond didn't want to run a knife through his pale neck. _Huuh? What-what do I say? To that. He's telling me he's worthless. _

"I saw you as so much more," Beyond whispered. "I know that you used to," L said. L himself was also confused. Why was Beyond not being hateful and wicked? He seemed as though he wanted to talk to L, and listen to him. It was the first time in so long that L was able to identify with Beyond. He felt his pain and his suffering. The man he feared most looked so vulnerable now. "Beyond?" L asked, clearing his throat. "What?" Beyond said, his head snapping up quickly to meet L's eyes. "What are you going to do to me?" L said, his voice strained. Beyond's eyes did not reflect anger, just large red orbs that looked as confused as L felt inside.

"I don't know," the killer responded. _  
_


	7. Plan

**A/N: This took a bit longer than I expected because I got sort of busy, but here it is. I already know exactly where I want to go with this story, so I hope it****'ll turn out just how I hope. Review please (: **

Time passed since that night Beyond revealed to L that he was A's murderer. A lot of time. So much time, that L Lawliet began to wonder how long it had really been since he had seen the face of Beyond. Auralee came to him instead. She brought him minimal food, but food nonetheless. Oh, it was absolutely disgusting. Food with no sugar content whatsoever. Water only, no tea. L questioned whether Beyond only allowed this gross food to be fed to him. When Auralee came to L, she hardly said anything. She kept her head down and didn't look L in the eyes.

One evening, when Auralee entered L's room with a plate of apple slices and a ham sandwich, L was at his wit's end. "I will not eat that," he stated. She sighed, "Don't start L." Crouched on the bed, he crossed his arms, "I'm serious. I hate food like that. I can feel my brain dying with every meal you feed me. I'm not sharp." Auralee furrowed her brow, "That's nonsense, L." "I'm _not _eating that," he repeated.

Anger flashed red-hot in Auralee's wide eyes. "You don't understand how fucking lucky you are to be alive right now! You should be dead!" she screamed. "I'd rather be dead, I think," L said. He wasn't sure if this was true. Auralee stomped her foot and threw the plate of food at the wall, where it smashed into pieces and the food lay among the glass on the floor. "Fine then! Don't eat! See if I give a fuck!" with that, she stormed out of the room, shutting and locking the door behind her. L sighed. All he really wanted was a cup of tea with lots and lots of sugar.

One thing L was grateful of was that he was no longer bound to his bed. Auralee always locked the door from the outside, but never put the leather straps back on his wrists and ankles. It was nice to be able to pace the room and crouch when he wanted.

This was torture. Not literally, which surprised L. He thought that Beyond would be in here all the time, cutting up his body and hurting him in any way he could think of. It was weird. Ever since that night, where secrets were spilt, and confusion arose. Beyond did look so sad and confused. L couldn't read his mind. Why was Beyond ignoring him? A tiny part of L would rather see Beyond than be isolated in this room. But that was just a small part, he was still afraid of him.

Auralee came to L the next morning, with more food. Again, L refused to eat. He knew he was acting like a spoiled child, but he really did want sweets so bad. Another part of L wanted Auralee to tell B that L would not eat so he would come to see L. It made him nervous that he had stopped.

Auralee came _again_ in the evening with even more nasty food. L's mouth in a hard line, he said, "Auralee no. I'd rather starve than eat that concoction." Again, very angry, she said, "Concoction? It's just a piece of chicken! Ugh!" Storming out the room, his door was once again locked. L smiled to himself. Auralee was funny. It was fun to mess around with her. She had such a hot temper but L saw her as harmless, all in all. Although, he didn't doubt that she would do evil things if asked by Beyond.

Ten minutes after Auralee left, L heard a key unlocking the door from the other side. Thinking Auralee was coming back in to try to force him to eat he dismissingly said, "Go away Auralee, I won't eat it." The person who stepped in was not the young girl with brightly coloured hair. Instead, there was Beyond, scratching his elbow and looking at the ground. After a second he shut the door behind him.

L eyed him warily, confirming he had no knives or any other scary weapon in his hand. Was he going to make him eat? When was Beyond going to kill him? Beyond cleared his throat, and looked up to meet L's eyes. He kept his distance. His face seemed made of stone. "Why aren't you eating?" his voice was flat. "I don't like the food Auralee brings me," L said. Beyond's face tensed, "Do you really think you should be picky in your position?" L tried to remain as calm as B was. "Yes. Do what you want to me, I've decided nothing is worse than how things already are. Kill me." L was surprised at himself. He did not wish himself dead…so why did he say this to Beyond. Yes things were bad, but did he really want to die?

Beyond's face contorted into one of shock. "Kill you?" L played along, at least he believed he was playing. "Yes, isn't that what you plan to do? Why would you ever keep me alive? You hate my being," L brought his thumb to his lip, waiting to judge Beyond's reaction. "Uh.." B's face was a mix of surprise, disgust, and sadness. "Wow L, you give up real quick." L's heart seemed to skip a beat. Where was the aggressive and revenge thirsty Beyond? "No, I just know the inevitable. So kill me now. Right now," L said calmly. For some reason, L had the feeling that Beyond did not want to kill him yet. Or ever. No, not just yet. Something is off with him, but L couldn't figure it out. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP L. GOD," Beyond's face went red and his hands balled into fists. "Don't be such a fucking coward, begging me to take your life!" Beyond screamed.

L remained quiet. Beyond was acting so weird. L thought he had him profiled to a tee. Hateful, aggressive, and seeking vengeance. "Fine, Beyond. I can wait," L finally said, tone still neutral. Beyond shot him a dirty look. L noted that his temper changed, even quicker than Auralee's. L looked the killer up and down, being a tiny bit grateful that he had finally come back to his room. It almost made L wonder if Beyond cared if he ate or not, but that was not likely.

Beyond's shirt was clean, surprisingly. L expected stains of blood or jam to be smothered on his clothes. His jeans, identical to L's were also clean. He wore no socks, only barefeet, just like L. His hair was parted and messed in the same style as L's. He even had dark circles under his eyes, but L was sure this was makeup. It was true, to anyone else, they would look like twins. This creeped L out, just a bit. "What are you starting at?" Beyond spat. L snapped out of his thoughts and saw Beyond wringing his hands nervously and looking embarrassed. "Uh, nothing.." L said, looking away now. _Oh god, what if he thought I was admiring his body? _L thought. He made a face. "If you won't eat what Auralee makes you, what will you eat?" Beyond asked. L looked back at Beyond and his face lit up instantly. "Tea! Sugar! Lots of sugar please, I need sugar, I really do. Cake! Oh please Beyond get me some cake. Strawberry with white sugar frosting…mmm." Beyond made a face, "That's not real food." L talked feverishly, seeing this as his only chance to get the food he wanted. "Oh it is, I lived off that stuff before I came here. Oh please Beyond, please!" L was awaiting Beyond's anger at him being so pushy.

Instead, Beyond smiled and said, "You're kinda cute when you beg L." L looked away, embarrassed, and crossed his arms, his cheeks blushing red. "I'm not begging. I just need sugar," L wouldn't look up at B. Beyond laughed, "I suppose I can get you some sugar." L was actually stunned. Why was he being so…nice? It was making L feel uneasy. So he spoke up. "Why are you being kind to me? Or at least, not vicious and torturous?" Beyond tilted his head, thinking. "Well…I haven't made a final decision yet," he said nonchalantly. This got L's attention. "Decision? On what?" L asked.

All apprehension that Beyond seemed to harbouring seemed to vanish. He sat down on the bed close to L. At this, L scooted over further away from him. Beyond just sighed. "I don't know if I should tell you, but I will. I mean, there isn't much you can to do interfere." L was extremely intrigued at this point. What was Beyond talking about? L crouched and bit his thumb, eagerly awaiting to hear of Beyond's unmade decision.

"I'm going to take over your identity," B said calmly. "I'll look just like you, I'll make sure of it. I'll waltz into headquarters, bragging of my escape from the treacherous Beyond Birthday," Beyond shot a giant smile at L, who was shocked. "So you do plan to kill me! Then abuse my power. That would never work. Watari would be able to tell the difference, he wouldn't believe it for a second," L said, but realized B would already have a solution for this. "I would simply kill him," Beyond said. "So what is the decision that you have not yet made?" L asked, ignoring the comment of Watari being murdered. Beyond gave him a coy smile, "Why L, I have not yet decided what to do with _you._" L looked confused, "You mean you might not kill me?" He was surprised, to say the least. "I never quite said that, I just don't know right now," Beyond looked sad again. "If you're dead, what is the point of my existence? My entire life has revolved around you, negatively of course, but still," Beyond's voice was hushed. L did not know what to say. So he said nothing at all. As the silence dragged on, Beyond finally got off L's bed and said, "I'll talk to Auralee about some new food for you." L replied, "Thank you." He was still deep in thought.

The next morning, L heard the key in his lock. He sprang to his feet and wrung his hands impatiently, expecting Auralee with his tea. He had never wanted something sweet so badly. Once again, Beyond stepped in instead of Auralee. L was so pleased to see that he carried a tray with a large teapot, a teacup, a slice of strawberry cake, and a mountain of sugar cubes! L Lawliet, calm and collected detective, was practically jumping up and down. Beyond smiled a huge toothy grin that made L remind him of a cat. "You look like a child on Christmas morning," it wasn't meant to be harsh, Beyond seemed happy. He set the tray down on a small table beside the bed and sat down on the chair positioned across from L's bed. L sat on the bed and poured himself some tea. Oh it smelt so good! He took a handful of sugar cubes and dropped them in one by one. _Plop, plop, plop. _He used the spoon to mix the sugar and tea while Beyond watched him intently. L was too happy to notice. He was beyond happy, he was ecstatic. Such a small thing brought him such joy after being locked away in this room for so long.

L brought the cup to his lips and took a sip. Then he gulped the entire thing down and poured himself more, repeating the process of adding a massive amount of sugar cubes. L only paused after three cups of tea, and set his eyes on the strawberry cake. He practically lunged for the fork and dove into the sweet treat. Stuffing as much in his mouth as he could at one time, he tried to say thank you to Beyond. "Famph you Eyond," is what it ended up coming out as. "You know this isn't very becoming of you Lawli," Beyond couldn't help but smirk. Swallowing, he said, "Thank you Beyond." Beyond waved a hand, "Yeah, yeah." He stood to leave. "Where are you going?" L asked. Beyond made a face, "Why do you care?" L paused for a moment, "I don't." Beyond left L with his tea, which did not last long.

So, Beyond was planning on becoming L. Taking over and doing the thing he had always wanted to, surpassing L. He was sort of cheating though, but L didn't think that Beyond cared. This scared L, because he knew it was possible. Without Watari around, Beyond could easily pose as L.

What was going on with Beyond? Not hurting him at all was just a shock. He wasn't torturing him at all. Only that first cut, which was already scabbed over now. He even let L keep his bandage on it. But why? What use was L to Beyond, now that he had this plan cooked up? If L didn't know any better, L would think that Beyond liked him, or at least didn't want to see him dead. L couldn't fully believe that though, since it was _Beyond. _The man that would commit suicide just to see that there was a case in the world that was unsolvable to L. The man who at first had told L he was going to pay for everything L had done to him when he had loved him. L was confused, and this was something that his super powered brain could not figure out.


	8. Intoxicated

L was still confused with Beyond's behaviour, but he chose not to dwell on it for things were looking better. Each morning, Beyond brought L a tray of tea, sugar, and cake. At lunch, he brought him a sandwich. As much as L despised the meal, he ate it each day. For if he did not, Beyond swore he would not bring L any tea, sugar, or cake.

L hardly saw Auralee at all anymore. She would pop her head in the evening and wish L a goodnight, but that was all. They had no conversations or social interactions. L wondered if Beyond had asked Auralee to avoid L, for B took over as L's "babysitter". When Beyond came into L's room with his meals, he did not say much either. Sometimes, not even a word. He merely stood near the door while L ate, never taking his eyes from L's pale and sunken face. At first it made L feel uneasy, but he became accustomed to his creepy ways and ignored it.

This went on for at least two weeks, of Beyond bring his meals and studying him in silence. L was horribly bored, he paced and slept more than he ever had. He had no idea how long he had been in the clutches of Beyond. L spent time thinking of how Watari was and how the Kira investigation was going. It made him nervous to think Light Yagami was somewhere without L's supervision, and he hoped the other members of the Task Force were not under some charismatic spell of his, thinking he had nothing to do with the murders.

It was a random night. The day before had been uneventful, the same treatment as always. L could not sleep, for whatever reason. His mind was whirling with what seemed like things of nonsense. He lay in his bed completely still, the only light coming from the moon through the single window.

L heard his door open a tiny bit. It was just a crack, and L dare not move. It was like his first day here, feigning sleep. After another minute the door slowly opened just enough for a shadowed figure to slip inside and soundlessly glide to a chair opposite L's bed. _What in the world?…_L thought. Still "sleeping" he made sure his breathing was quiet. No sound from the figure in the chair. L assumed it was Beyond because, well, he just knew.

Five minutes went by, and L was starting to relax a tiny bit. Was he just keeping

an eye on him? What if he did this every night, and L had just not realized? Beyond began to fumble with something and L had no idea what he was doing. Another few minutes pass, and a strange odour begins to fill the room. He hears Beyond exhale deeply. It was a strange odour, yet a vaguely familiar one. When he was back at Wammy's House, he had sometimes sat against the wall on the East side of the building. This strange smell sometimes met his nose, coming from a group of older boys that hung around the area. It was marijuana. Beyond Birthday was smoking marijuana, doing drugs! Why was L surprised? It was Beyond Birthday after all. From what L knew, marijuana was not a very harmful drug, and that fact somehow made L feel at ease. It was as though he would have been worried for the killer's health had be been doing something like cocaine or heroin. L was just confused. He should want Beyond to drop dead, not caring whatever drug he dabbled with. The smell intensified, and L really just wanted to cover his mouth and nose, but didn't, since he did not want BB knowing he lay awake. After some time, Beyond rose silently and left, only to return five minutes later and take his place back in the chair. He heard the sound of liquid sloshing in a bottle, and the sound of lips smacking glass. A sharp exhale. L's fists tightened under the sheets. Alcohol. Beyond was drinking, and that made L nervous. What if he got so intoxicated that he lost control and hurt L? The ever crazy Beyond, drunk! Ever so carefully, L sneaked a peek. It was indeed Beyond, and he was indeed drinking what looked like some sort of hard liquor. It made L think of the night that drunk man took hold of him outside the bar, right before Beyond kidnapped him. He had seen what alcohol could do to people. Make a man want to rape a stranger without a second thought.

About half an hour passed, with the sound of the liquid moving from the bottom to the top of the bottle continuing, as Beyond consumed it's contents. L could not sleep, he could not just ignore the fact that Beyond was getting drunk feet away from him. But why? Don't people get drunk alone when something is horribly wrong?

Sobs. Wretched crying. Coming from the corner where Beyond is seated. L's body tenses. The man is crazy! Drunk and crazy! He's actually crying, and in his drunken stupor he assumes that L cannot hear him and does not know he is there. He hears scrambling, Beyond is moving around. When L sees him standing right in front of him, he has to try his hardest to not make a noise. Beyond is whispering. It's so quiet L cannot make out what he is saying. His whisper heightens to a hushed tone, loud enough to understand. "I'm sorry L, sorry, sorry, sorry. I never meant this, but you did it too. It's all your fault! Your fucking fault! My fault…it's all my fault, our fault. I'm a rat," he hiccups. "Monster, but I can't help it. It lives inside of me, I cannot kill it. Not with poison, blade, or fire. I would cut it's brains out if I could! But it would never let me, I only float along aside it, easy like an ocean. I'm not evil. Yes I am, I'm so evil, I am evil personified," he is still crying. L is stunned, the man is drunk, and perhaps that is what it takes for him to say what he truly feels. Beyond walks around to the other side of the bed, the space not occupied by L. Lawliet feels BB sink into the bed beside him, flopping heavily like a dead fish. _What the fuck is he doing? _L's brain is screaming. His back is turned to Beyond, but he feels his heavy presence. The killer starts again, "Oh Beyond is so sorry for everything he's done to you L. But he will continue to hurt you. I hate Beyond! I fucking hate him! Why can't I kill him? He won't fucking die!" L feels his chest heaving up and down. A hand, so tentative, touches L's messy black hair. "You sleep sound," BB whispers. He says no more, and after a few minutes, the crying ceases. His hand is still atop L's head and his chest pressed against L's back. Lawliet wants to cry. He's lying in bed with a serial killer and he can do nothing about it. Why does Beyond say these things? He acts as if he doesn't even hate L! But how? Wasn't this the whole point of his imprisonment?

L decided it would just be best if he closed his eyes and waited until Beyond came around. As soon as B realized what he had done, he would jump out of the bed as if it was on fire. L wouldn't fall asleep though. He told himself this over and over as Beyond slept deeply, still pressed into L's back. He could feel him breathing, and in a way, it made L feel peaceful. It was almost soothing. L felt his eyes get heavy and soon he could not help but drift off to sleep.

It was bright, L had slept for quite a while. His eyes widened with horror when he realized that Beyond had not moved an inch. He continued to breathe deeply beside L, bodies still touching. What could L do? To awaken B would be foolish, but so would waiting for him to wake in anger of his own account.

It wasn't long before Auralee joined L and B in the room. L turned to look at her, silently pleading for a help. Her face twisted in plain and obvious anger. L's eyes widened, would she begin to yell? His heart thumped. How would B react when he realized he had climbed into bed with L last night?

"Disgusting, you're fucking pathetic," she hissed. B stirred a tad. In her hand was a cup of tea, which she proceeded to hurl at the wall. It shattered into many little pieces, and Beyond sad up instantly. "What the fuck?" he shrieked. Upon realizing where he was, he screamed. "Fucking hell!" he jumped out of the bed in the manner L predicted he would, as if it were on fire. Auralee smirked in a nasty way, "Do you fuck them and _then_ kill them, Beyond?" L wasn't great at interpreting human emotions, but he was almost sure she was jealous. As if she had come to resent L. She looked at Lawliet, "Don't think anything is going to change. Don't be so naïve. You will die here." With that, she left the room and slammed the door behind her.

L was shaking. Beyond was standing beside the bed, facing the wall, unmoving. "…B?" L whispered. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. Knuckles made impact with wall, with a deafening boom. "Fuck!" B screamed again. He held his now bleeding knuckles and turned to L. "Fuck you! You're the devil!" L just stared, wide eyed. "I'm sorry..." L said. In just a second Beyond had jumped back on the bed. Lawliet cried out and scrambled to the floor and up to his feet again. "Beyond please!" The killer seemed to pounce right the spot L was cowered against the wall. One pale hand clutched at Lawliet's neck. His nails dug into the flesh as Beyond brought his face less than an inch from L's. "It's not my fault...you were drunk, that is the effects of alcohol, B. Just let it go, it's nothing," L attempted. The nails at his neck dug deeper, "It's not just the alcohol, L. You know that. You fucking...I just fucking hate you! I want everything. It's eating away at me! It's not supposed to be like this. I need everything. I can't find my happiness, I'll devour yours!" he screamed, his pupils as large as saucers. "Whatever it is that's inside of me, I want it to be quiet. It screams when I look at you, when I think of you. Nothing can lull it to sleep. What if I kill you and nothing changes? What if I do and it gets worse? You ruined everything! Your existence is my downfall." He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a switchblade.

Tears streamed down the killer's face. He held the blade against L's throat, and stood perfectly still. "It was supposed to be easy L. Why isn't it easy?" he whispered. L felt the cool metal against his skin. "I don't know Beyond. I don't know."

The blade dropped from Beyond's hand, and his grip on L's throat loosened. He held it there, almost in a caress. Only a few seconds later, Beyond turned swiftly and left the room, but only after bending to pick his blade up once again. L had almost wanted to be able to keep it for himself. Maybe he would have got the courage to kill himself before Beyond did.

L sat back on his bed and traced his fingertips over the marks Beyond had left in his neck.


	9. Confusion

L paced the empty room, completely alone with his thoughts. B was confused, that much L was sure of. He didn't understand or even know what he was feeling. It was almost as if the emotions the two men shared back in the orphanage were resurfacing, bubbling right under Beyond's pale skin. Was L making the killer feel things he didn't ever want to feel again? He could almost read it in his face, and in his eyes. Since Beyond had left in the morning, he hadn't been back. L suspected that it was now late at night, meaning he hadn't eaten all day. He debated whether or not he should bang on the door and scream for Beyond or Auralee to bring him food. Another hour passed, and still no one had come for him. After much thought and hesitation, L found himself banging on the hospital room door as hard as he could. "Hey! HEY!" he screamed. Silence.

Then he heard footsteps, hurried and angry. The lock was undone, and the door jolted open with scary force. "What the _fuck _are you yelling for?" Auralee hissed. "People are fucking sleeping!" Auralee had bags under her eyes, not the same extent as L's or Beyond's, but bags nonetheless. Her eyes were bloodshot, face pale, and hair a mess. She did not look like the same bubbly soul that L had first met back in the 7 eleven. "Auralee...I haven't eaten anything since the night before. After the...incident...with Beyond, no one has brought me anything. I'm hungry," he whispered. He wanted Auralee to remain calm since the last thing that L needed was for Beyond to wake up. The girl threw her head back and laughed. A bitter and taunting laughed that made L feel extremely uncomfortable in front of the girl. When she had finally stopped laughing, she looked L in the eyes with no hint at amusment. "Do you really think I give a fuck that you're hungry? Of all the things I've ever heard, my god. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to Beyond, and I hate your guts. I want to see Beyond tear your skin open and spill your blood all over the floor. Oh and, if he won't do it, for whatever reason, you can be sure I will. I'm not letting you manipulate him or make him think that you're anything more than dirt," her voice was the angriest L had ever heard, low and menacing. His eyes were wide with shock, as he had never seen the girl this frightening. To L's surprise, Auralee lifted a pale hand to an even paler face, and stroked the detective's cheek. She smiled sweetly, "as I said, my dear L, you _will_ die here." With that, she turned on her heel, shut the door quietly, and locked it behind her.

All L could do was sit exactly where he was, and cry. Not a heavy and dramatic event, just a few quiet tears rolled down his cheek. He cried because he knew what she said was true. It was the awful truth that he could not second guess. No matter what mixed feelings Beyond was having, L was going to die in this old abandoned hospital. It was a thought that made L's stomach sink.

L jumped out of skin when he heard the lock being fiddled with. Was Auralee coming back to just finish him off now? His hands shook and he couldn't peel his eyes from the door. He expected her small frame and wild hair to burst through the door, knife in hand. He knew she had it in her, as most humans do. Instead of Auralee walking through the door L thought he'd never walk out of, it was Beyond. L could not believe that for once he was grateful do see his skinny form and tossed black hair. L did not even realize he was still crying, and the tears fell a lot harder now. The detective felt vulnerable on the floor and quickly moved to the center of his bed. "You're ugly looking when you cry," Beyond said, looking slightly amused. He pulled the chair up to the side of the bed. "Can you please lie down? I want to talk to you." L looked at him suspiciously, and wiped his eyes with the bed sheet. Beyond Birthday grabbed the sheet from his hands and inspected the spot with the fresh tears. "No makeup. So those are real," Beyond whispered, reaching with one finger to touch the bags under L's eyes. The detective cringed and jerked his head backwards. He noticed Beyond grimace slightly at his reaction, but then the killer smiled. He raised his finger to touch his own bags and ran his fingertip under his eye. When he held it up to L, it was black with makeup. "A copycat, L. That's all I am." B looked sad, and to L's surprise, very vulnerable. L had the sudden urge to reach out and hug B. He knew that L's pressure and rejection had turned Beyond into the man that he was today. Of course, L did not act on this impulse, for that would have been very silly of him. So instead, L said nothing. "They say a replica can never be as good as the original," he said quietly. "You're not a replica, B," L said. "Oh but I am!" Beyond became animated in only a second and flailed his arms around. "That is exactly what I am! Look at me, L." His excited tone became a hushed whisper. "What did you want to talk to me about Beyond?" L's stomach did flip flops. "The other night... that was not supposed to happen. I think you know that," Beyond said. "Yes, I can come to the conclusion that you were not supposed to crawl into bed with the man you supposedly hate," L's tone was angry. "But you did. And why did you Beyond?" An angry glare was flashed in the killer's direction. Beyond looked hurt, L could see it in the pout of his lip and glimmer in his eyes. "I don't know L. I'd like to blame my intoxicated state but..." his frail voice trailed off. "But WHAT Beyond? How can you expect to do that to me? You confuse me and it's making my head hurt a great deal!" L was shouting. Beyond first looked shocked at L's sudden outburst, but then he looked angry. "Don't fucking talk to me like that," Beyond spat. "Do you think I enjoy this? I'm...confused too. I have dreams, and they're always changing. Sometimes I dream of killing you in the most awful and delicious ways. I wake up and I feel sad. Other times, I dream of just holding you in silence. Each dream is so vivid, and when I wake from either one I can hardly stop myself from coming in here and either killing you or fucking you." Beyond's head was down. L was shocked. He didn't really know what to say. What did that even mean? That Beyond was a bipolar menace? Well yes, he already knew that. Did this confirm that Beyond had feelings for L? "Beyond," L whispered. The serial killer raised his head and looked the saddest that L had ever seen him. "What do I do, L?" Beyond choked. "Do I kill you? Will it end? When will my heart stop hurting? It's been hurting ever since you left. I think of you and I feel pain that I can't fucking kill. I'm scared to hurt you but I'm scared to feel anything but hate towards you either," the killer was crying now. Heavy, loud, choking sobs that made his whole body shake.

Without another word or any warning, Beyond Birthday jumped to his feet. L had been sitting up in his bed and jumped at the killer's sudden movement. "Move over," Beyond whispered. "What?" L looked horrified. "Move the fuck over, L!" Beyond almost whined. L did as he was asked and moved his body over to the other side of the bed. "You have to lie down," Beyond said. "Why?" L said in a frightened voice. "Just do it!" Beyond was getting impatient, and so L did as he told him to. With no hesitation, Beyond climbed into the bed alongside L, just as he did when he was drunk, the only difference being that Beyond was now facing L. Beyond forced a small smile onto his face, "Hi." L's confusion was so broad and disturbing that it made his stomach hurt. "What are you doing Beyond?" he whispered. "I don't exactly know. I just don't. I remember, when we were at the orphanage, when you would visit me...I was so happy. You know that. I think that, in a way, you knew me at my best, before I was consumed by this sadness, the one that doesn't go away. Now, I can't even stand on my own. It takes pills and boozes. I need to know if you can make it better L. A part of me says you can. Another part of me screams that I can't trust you. A part of me wants to show you my scars. Another part of me wants to give you new ones." L was shaking, and he knew it was because he was confused too. He had always been so confused. He had thought of Beyond often. "You have to make a choice Beyond." He was hesitant to even move. A defiant look came across the man's face. Beyond leaned in close to L, and placed a light kiss on his lips. L almost cried out in shock. He didn't think anything on Earth could stop the trembling in his hands. Beyond buried his face in the sheets. He spoke, the sound muffled. "I don't think I'm ready to do that, L."


End file.
